My Life With Monkeys

Friday Happy Hour: Lighten Up Girl

2012-02-10T00:03:00.004-05:00

“Yeah, you! What do you think you’re doing? Biting off more than you can chew? Going full steam ahead? Burning the midnight oil? Working harder, not smarter? Making something out of nothing? Putting in the hours of two full-time jobs and getting paid for none? Jumping on the bandwagon? Shooting for the stars and falling out of touch with reality?”

“Hey, I resent those accusations! Or I resemble them. Either way, get out of my head and let me do my thing. Why are you judging how I live my life and how I spend my time? I’m finally making progress on a few dreams I’ve been hanging on to, so who are you to tell me I can’t?”

“It’s not that you can’t, it’s just that you better chill before you burn yourself out and give up. All work and no play is a recipe for disaster, even your family could tell you that. (In fact they might start telling you that they are hungry and the floors need cleaning, too, but that’s the price you’ll pay if you start cutting corners.) Maybe if you step back from the trees you will see the forest and the picture will become clear. And you could take a breath before you make yourself crazy.”

“I guess you’re right. I could use a break from my super charged brain right now; I can feel anxiety trying to slide in the back door and creep up on me. But what if I lose momentum and all my ideas escape me? They are coming by the dozens and I only have so much time to get it all done. The clock is ticking, the years are flying, and I don’t want to let the opportunity pass me by. There is so, so much to do if I’m going to make this work!”

“No, there is only so much to do if you keep adding to the list. It will all work out but you don’t have to rush it. Enjoy the process, enjoy your first job first, and enjoy each day and each moment before THAT passes you by. It’s only your own ambition (or overzealous drive) setting these ridged standards for yourself, so lighten up a little!”

Ms. Passion

“Ok, Logic, you are making sense, but can we compromise? Can I keep putting in the effort for the goals I currently have set, if I manage my time better and remember to have fun? I promise not to add anything new until I’ve crossed a few things off my list. AND I promise to put my first job first because I know that retirement will come sooner than later and I will wish it weren’t so! Can we agree?”

Ms. Logic

“Yes, Passion, we can agree. I wouldn’t want to take your dreams away from you when that has always been an integral part of who you are. And I know it’s important for you to see the progress and share it with others right now. Just do us both a favor and finish what you have on your plate before you take a second helping, ok? Now, get on with the weekend and have some fun before we’re all worn out!”

This has been the best week ever! I swear it was because all the right things are coming into place at the right time as long as I stay *focused* and keep Logic and Passion in check. This weekend is going to be the best ever because I have a list of all the fun things I’m going to be doing:

· Watch the rest of the episodes of “The New Girl” with Zooey Deschanel. Serious laughs!

· Go on a hot date. (Yes with my hot husband!)

· Take the whole family to Taylor’s late night soccer game and out to Chick n’ Ruth’s for a monster size milkshake afterwards, ignoring bedtime altogether.

· Go outside and draw En Plein Air for my Sketch 29 Project. This will be a first!

· Read something that isn’t literature or current events or has anything to do with art. Fluff reading will certainly lighten my mind!

· Make a good meal for the family that they haven’t eaten seventeen hundred times already.

· Snuggle. Laugh. Breathe.

How about you? Have you had a conversation with yourself to see how you are doing? Has it been the best week ever?

Sketch 29 Challenge: Week One

2012-02-08T00:19:00.000-05:00

You can check out what this is about HERE

Poppy Pods, pencil, Feb 1

Grasshopper, pencil, Feb 2

Flower from my garden, pen and watercolor, Feb 3

First ever self-portrait, pencil, Feb 4

Death of the Devil after Albrecht Durer, pencil, Feb 5

Sea Shell, color pencil, Feb 6

Tea Cups Illustration, pen and color pencil, Feb 7

Hello Monday! Hello Museum!

2012-02-06T00:53:00.000-05:00

I took the day off yesterday and went with myself to the Baltimore Museum of Art. Sometimes you have to go alone as to not be influenced by anyone else’s opinion. I went to see the print show which was a fine collection of more than 350 prints ranging from modern day and as far back as the 16th Century. It was impressive. The museum is free and they have an amazing Jazz Brunch on Sundays. I took my time and strolled through the whole museum. It’s certainly smaller than the Louvre or The National Gallery, but just as classy. I wanted to share my thoughts with you about a few of the things I saw along the way (Please excuse the quality of the photos, they were taken with my phone camera):

· The recent popularity of Fantastical Art is not a new phenomenon. The early Renaissance painter, Albrecht Durer, was making grotesque and unusual scenes since the 1500s in his woodcut series called “The Apocalypse”. It’s amazing that we have been fretting the end of the world for so long. I think these prints were my favorite of the whole museum (yes, over the Impressionists!)

Albrect Durer (detail)

Albrecht Durer (detail)

· When French Impressionists were at their height, so were the America painters. They are often overlooked for Monet and Renoir, but I do love the works of William Merritt Chase, Willard Metcalf and Childe Hassam. It was nice to see the museum had a modest collection of American artists.

· As for the famous Impressionists, there were some of those as well. Monet, Renoir and Degas’ Dancer statues. But my favorite painting of that group was one of Cezanne’s paintings of the Sainte-Victoire Mountain near his home in Aix-en-Provence. I’ve been to Aix and I have seen the landscape with my own eyes. The color is not an exaggeration, it is beautiful and that is why so many artists flocked to that area.

Cezanne, Sainte-Victoire Mountain

· No matter how hard I try, I just don’t care for Matisse. I’ve been to his home in Nice, France and I have seen his art in many galleries but I think his work looks unfinished. It’s sad because he worked tirelessly to achieve that style and well, it’s just meh. I have the urge to take the canvas home and see if I can’t help him get the job done!

Matisse (at least it's colorful!)

· If you’ve been to a few art museums or studied art books, sooner or later you can start spotting certain artists from afar. Sometimes it can be a fun game I play to challenge myself to spot the artists before I read the plaque. Picasso and Monet are give aways, but I'mm still learning Corot and Courbet. There were so many familiar painters, but all new pieces to me as this was my first time visiting this museum.

· Finally I must say, the world needs more women artists! The whole impressionist wing was donated from a couple of sisters who had diligently collected everything, including art. Rich, powerful women, The Cone sisters traveled to France and were major patrons to the arts, and yet they hardly noticed any women painters. I fear this habit still hasn’t changed in our modern day, but I have my eye out to discover the great women painters in every museum I go to, even if they are tucked away or wedged between the rest of the art world.

by Rosalie Lorraine Gill

Georgia O'Keefe

To finish up the trip I came home and tried my hand at the macabre! I have never done fantasy/fantastic art before, but Durer's wood carving prints inspired me, and I have my Sketch 29 assignment I gave myself, so....here you have my try at sketching it and a close up of the print. This has given me all kinds of wonderful ideas! I hope you have enjoyed the tour and have a Happy Monday!

Death of the Devil after Albrecht Durer, by Kellee Wynne Conrad

Original print by Albrecht Durer (detail)

Friday Happy Hour: The Year There Was No Winter

2012-02-03T00:53:00.001-05:00

Memories from Winter's past. 1/2011

This week we had weather in the sixties again. I’ve heard rumor that this has been happening all over the country. A mellow sort of warmth has spread and people are traveling about in short sleeves and waving to one another in a cheery sort of way. Children play basket ball in the street and snow shovels are buried under other warmer-weather projects like garage organizing and yard sale sorting. I don’t know where my heavy coat has gone and it’s alright with me.

But I have to admit it’s a little bit weird, Twilight Zone strange even. When it’s 20 degrees above normal I begin to wonder how Mother Earth is feeling. How have we done this to the poor girl? How much more can she take? What else do we have in store? I think to myself, enjoy it while you can because something’s got to give…right? There it is, a little pit in my stomach, like December 21^st is looming over us and the Mayans were right after all. But wait I digress….it’s beautiful outside and people are happier than usual and life is good. And when I start to worry over what is obviously the least of my worries, I come across just the right written words to bring me back from the edge of the Apocalypse.

I discovered the irreverent and poignant writings of Marc Morford a few weeks ago and he has given me much thought to chew on. He wrote a particular article for the San Francisco Chronicle/ SFGate that reminds us humans that we have thought the end was near for much of civilized life here on earth. That surely this is it, the world can take no more, busting at the seams with a population of 7 Billion! Then Marc Morford reminded me that this world and the massive amount of humans contained in it, not only continue to survive but we are thriving!

I highly recommend you read the article, "Seven Billion Ways to Swallow God" for yourself and see if the word ride doesn’t leave you feeling proud of the human race, at least just a little bit longer until the cold returns…

For today, though, I want to make a Happy Hour Toast! To playing outside and turning the heat off. To sunnier days and smiling faces. To getting things done and keeping commitments. To good friends and even greater family members! It was indeed the best week ever! How about you?

"There is no battle. There is no good versus evil. There is only the flux and the pulse of existence, creation, expansion and contraction in an endless dance, signifying nothing, inventing everything."

Sketch 29: A Daily Creative Project

2012-02-01T09:14:00.004-05:00

As I whittle away my time on the world wide web waiting for inspiration to strike, I realize it never will as long as I have a mouse in my hand instead of a pencil. If I’ve heard it a dozen times, I’ve heard it a million: I must practice, practice, practice if I truly want to be a _____ (insert here: writer, artist, musician, photographer, dancer, etc.) I know you are nodding your head in agreement. If you have just begun in your creative journey, are in the throes of it, have been ignoring the nagging desire or are just returning to your dreams after a hiatus, then now is the time to rise to the challenge!

I’ve done enough planning, dreaming, thinking, and talking about it, but today I start doing! I have given myself a new challenge: for the next 29 days of this February Leap Year I promise to sketch every single day. I will doodle, draw, color, work out my ideas and put pictures on paper. And then I will share them with you daily on my public Facebook Page and weekly on my blog. I hope you will follow along as I push myself one step closer to my goals. Even better, join in the fun and challenge yourself too! And tell me about it because I’d love to know if I’ve inspired someone to take the next step in their creative journey.

So, are you with me? 29 days to a more creative life. 29 days closer to your goals. 29 days of skill building. 29 days. every. single. day. And you know you’ll be glad you did! Now turn off this screen and pick up a notebook, we have work to do!

Hello Monday! Hello Decor!

2012-01-30T08:37:00.000-05:00

I know I said I would be showing off all kinds of new work on Mondays, but who says it has to be a new work of art? Geesh, that’s a lot of pressure and I’m new at this “art on demand” regimen I’ve put myself on! So it’s no surprise that this week got busy and I did not make it into my studio. Remember, I am wearing many hats! But going without creating something for a whole week would be like skipping showers. I could do it but in time I would start to stink! I have to create! So I have a few original creations I would like to share with you to keep rolling with the Mondays!

In this week’s hustle and bustle I got a lot of cleaning, sorting and decorating done around the house. After moving in June of 2010 (yes, 18+ months later,) I have finally hung a myriad of things on my walls. Lots of photos of my boys; dozens really. Art and artifacts picked up from around the world. A giant fork and spoon. My mother’s travel photos. My father’s paintings. And this:

I picked up this beautiful 30”x30” tin ceiling tile from Second Chance in Baltimore. The store is a string of warehouses filled with reclaimed items. It’s a scavenger’s dream come true. The tin came with the distressed lead paint.

So I put on a mask and gloves and carefully put a thin wash of turquoise paint over the white paint and tin. I added a thin wash of brown to keep it looking old. When it was dry I coated a generous layer of clear acrylic polyurethane over the whole thing and once dry, repeated again. And without a second thought I nailed that sucker to the wall and called it architectural art!

In this grouping you will find two paintings: the purple one on the left I picked up in Nice, France from an artist selling on the street, and I did the one on the right, the landscape. It’s a pastel of Belgium that I did last year. I’ll fill you in more later, I promise.

The shelf was an ugly old red country thing. I painted it turquoise first, and then white, and then distressed it. I lined the back of the shelf with chalkboard paper and put a set of old skeleton keys and motorcycle tags from Belgium hanging from the pegs. And I proudly display a beautiful card that my cousin in Washington made and an vintage postcard of Le Arc De Triomphe in Paris.

The piece-de-resistance is my treasured café sign from Europe. I rescued it right before our move home. It was yellow and battered and you could not use the board for writing. I lovingly painted the trim white and carefully painted new chalkboard paint on to the surface and reattached the Grimburgen beer emblem. I’m so happy to see it hanging in my house.

This last grouping is a little collection of favorites. The framed print is from an artist we stumbled upon in the little town of Giverny where Monet is from right outside of Paris. I finally got it framed and hung. On the stand you will see my crow print and my Hello Monday altered sign, a hand blown glass vase from my mother's talented partner, a ceramic vase my father made a couple decades ago, and a couple of my mini travel scrapbooks. It's turned into a happy little vignette of collectible memories!

It’s all coming together; all the little details that make my home a fun place to be, to live and to laugh with my family. The only thing better than the brightly adorned walls on this Monday morning are the monkeys I share them with. Hope you have a Happy Monday!

Friday Happy Hour: Fake It Till You Make It

2012-01-27T00:09:00.001-05:00

That’s basically what I’m doing. I keep putting myself out there, out on a limb and fully exposed. But I keep thinking I’m just a poser, I have no clue what I’m doing and I’m standing here half naked at that. Who am I to call myself an “Artist?” A “Writer?” Struggling, aspiring, wishing, taking baby steps - maybe I’ll concede to that. I’m comfortable with “Dreamer” because I wouldn’t be doing any of this if I weren’t at least a little delusional! But “Positive Thinker?” I got called out on that one by my significant other yesterday….then I asked him if he’s read my blog on any given Friday? Does he know what I've been saying? But I realize that saying and doing are two different things.

Does it count if I keep telling myself it’s true? If I believe in my mind’s eye that I am THAT person, do I eventually become that person? If I walk the streets of Giverny and breathe the air heavy of oil paint and turpentine will it move my hand to paint? If I read a wicked smart news article by Marc Morford, could I churn out something half as witty, poignant and well-read? If I watch TED Talks, and read the Dalai Lama’s daily update on Facebook, will I have a brighter outlook? There must have been a spark somewhere along this path I’ve been walking to cause this kindle of hope that I could one day be THAT person. Maybe something in my cloud of dreams that keeps pushing me to take on the challenge even when I feel like I am still floating around trying to figure it all out. But it’s ok, I’ve got a plan. I’m going to “Fake it till I make it.”

Are you with me? This is only just the beginning. It’s a wild ride that could end up anywhere and I would love to have you with me as the story unfolds. You can follow me on my new Facebook Page or follow by email. Don’t hesitate to share the love and share my blog. The larger the audience I have the more pressure I have to come out of the clouds and land on solid ground. To fake it a little less, and make it a little more. So, what do you say? A few more Fridays with me? I can raise a glass to that! And there are a few other things that made my week:

· My 13 year-old son helped navigate me through Photoshop Elements to create my own brand. What do you think?

· I discovered that one of my favorite artists, James Gurney, will be showing in an exhibit in Pennsylvania all summer long.

· A couple extras days off school meant more time with the monkeys. No, really, they were fine.

· A big pot of black bean chicken soup (that didn’t last nearly long enough.)

· Quiet time. Lots of quite time and no running errands. Making up for this time last month when I was wiped out from the Holiday Season!

· Winning Words With Friends, but I don’t want to rub it in anymore…

· I am convinced “Midnight in Paris” was a movie made just for me.

And how about you? If you’ve been reading my weekly Friday post, by now you know I’m going to ask you, “What made this the best week ever?” Go on, tell me, and then go to my Facebook page and tell me again…because you inspire me to keep on going!

Hello Monday! Hello Ideas!

2012-01-23T09:16:00.004-05:00

Hand Carved Lino Cut Stamp, "Not Just a Moth" by Kellee Wynne Conrad

Too many of them to be exact. I suspect anyone with a creative mind and a busy life will find themselves divided among their ideas, but clearly with good intentions. You see, it was never a lack of ideas that has kept me from finding motivation; most likely it was where to begin with all these possibilities, and where do I find the time, and what if I do the wrong thing, and should I delve into pastel or collage, and what if it turns out awful, and, and….And that is the ultimate form of a creative block. Not a lack of ideas, but rather learning how to narrow your focus and just do something until you find the path you were meant to be following.

But I have a plan. I’m going to get through one idea at a time and see where it takes me. I’ll put it to the side if I don’t like it and pick up something else, and sooner or later I will find the path that suits me well. I suspect it will probably present itself in its own due time if I just keep moving forward. If I just keep doing something, anything! rather than nothing at all. And when the inspiration strikes, I hope you will be here to witness it and watch as this story unfolds. Maybe, if I’m doing what I’ve set out to do, I will inspire you to start your own creative journey!

This week I have one more hand-carved stamp. I like to think of it as a mate to the raven. Just to show you what happens when ideas get carried away, I am sharing a few of the different phases this project has been through.

I started by sketching from a reference photo. As I finished the design, I defined where the lights and darks would be, and then darkened the lines to get it ready for carving.

I spent hours cutting away on a sheet of rubber. I had to decide where to keep detail and where to let it go, all along trying not to cut my fingers!

I experimented with printing it on watercolor paper and coloring it, but I discovered the printing ink runs and the texture of the paper blurs the detail of the stamp. I'll have to make adjustments with my supplies and try it again.

Just for fun I wanted to see what would happen if I made the background first and printed it directly on a collage. It was an uneven surface and the image was not clearly printed, but it has a neat graphic effect. I think I would fine tune the collage process and see if I could get a smoother surface if I were to attempt this again.

There you have it, just a few ideas I was working on this week. What do you think? Any suggestions? I would love a request for the next hand-cut design! Or something unique I could do with my accumulating stamp pile!

Mostly, I hope you found some inspiration of your own and go have a Happy Monday!

"It's never too late to be who you might have been." George Eliot

Friday Happy Hour: Boys

2012-01-20T06:50:00.002-05:00

A few stinky ones at that.

Socks left in every corner.

Wrestling that inevitably ends in crying.

Hands reaching into the food for a taste, while dinner is still cooking.

Talking way too much about private parts.

Procrastination and a hungry dog.

Temper tantrums.

Gross sounds and smells, on purpose, in confined spaces.

An inability to tell that I am in the middle of a conversation and do not want to be interrupted.

Having to be told more than once.

Not playing fair.

Last minute projects.

Hands in the pants and up the nose (at the same time).

A battleground over nutritious meals that need to make it downs each little (loud) mouth.

Toilet seat up or down, doesn’t seem to matter, it’s everywhere.

Ear buds in, tuning out.

Name calling.

Boredom only a couple weeks after receiving all the Christmas spoils.

Long monologues about the progress made on a particular game (eyes glazing over.)

Playing instead of working on homework.

Late nights even with early bedtimes.

Shall I continue? Shall I tell you how I really feel? All at once overwhelmed, infuriated and glad to be a mother. I take no pity and prefer no advice. They’re wild animals after all, I just have to keep throwing treats at them to get their attention! But this is what I signed up for and without the stinky, rude, loud, unruly boys; I would not be Queen of the House, The Monkey Queen, The-Crazy-Lady-That-Makes-the-Meals-and-Brings-Clean-Laundry…or half the woman I am today. And I love my boys! I’m laughing about it now, but after a week like this, I think I could really use happy hour out tonight! And no matter what, it was still the best week ever.

Hello Monday! Hello MoJo!

2012-01-16T09:29:00.000-05:00

"The Tell Tale Heart" Hand-carved lino print by Kellee Wynne Conrad

Funny thing happens when you confess your shortcomings and spill your weaknesses publicly. It lights a fire under your butt to go do something about it! In my Friday post I lamented my lack of motivation and fears of facing some of the plans that I have been yapping a lot about and failing to following through with. When the post was sent out to the world that day, it must have released the little doubting demons because I got to work on my hopes and dreams right away.

Lucky for me I have a long list of ideas. Unfortunately for me I have a long list of ideas. I know I can't possibly go down every path my mind seams to wander, but I know with a little effort and lots of practice the right path will present itself. Right now I am enjoying hand-carved lino cut prints (from original designs), sketching, and water color. Next week I might be back into pastel or collage. Someday I will be brave enough to pick up the oil paints. But the good news is that I am doing it, and it's even better knowing that you are here to see as it unfolds.

Accountability is a surprising motivator and because of that I have decided to dedicate my new Monday post to sharing my creations with you. (Wow, what did I just commit to?) And a celebration of this new commitment I am happily giving away a copy of my new lino print to everyone who leaves a comment! Or follow me on my new Facebook page and leave a suggestion for what I should carve next. Just remember I need your address and you can send that to me through my e-mail. And don't be shy about sharing my blog with your friends. Thank-you so much for you support! And enjoy this beautiful Monday!

Friday Happy Hour: Desperately Seeking Motivation

2012-01-13T06:31:00.002-05:00

Early morning view from my window.

I got jack diddly squat done this week. I might have made one good meal. I had a few good ideas, but they sat on the shelf while I played “Words with Friends”. There is a pile of pictures and frames on the dining room table that have been sitting patiently since Sunday waiting to be hung, just glad they are not locked away in a trunk anymore. Something smells in the kitchen and it’s probably the garbage. My kids are bored with nothing to do – homework I say! – but at last that’s done. I don’t think I got dressed before noon once. I guess you could say I have lost focus already.

I wake up wanting to do something fabulous with my day. The sunrise spreads little rays of hope that I will really do something creative and new and special with my precious time. But before long time gets plucked away from me. The minutes are squandered and I am stuck somewhere between fear and the internet. I have all the resources at my finger tips but what if I step out on the wrong path? What if I finally get around to writing, but not one reads it? What if I make a cute bird print, but the idea for a four foot abstract would have been better? What if the laundry still needs to be switched over?

How easy it seems to get lost in our own desperate attempts to start something new. When I was a kid the future seemed overflowing with possibilities. I could be a dancer, a teacher, an artist, a veterinarian…there was an endless parade of choices before me. Nothing has changed except the time crunch and my mountain of dreams crushing me alive. So I put them all aside and focus on the job I usually know best - taking care of monkeys. It’s easier than climbing the mountain as these excuses keep rolling in one after the other.

I’ll do it one day, you’ll see. I’ll start painting or writing a novel or start a mass media frenzy…as soon as I sort through my closets and clean out my mind, put the Kindle down and stop postponing my future. You’ll see…if you keep following me…

Until then I owe one person a copy of the hand-carved lino print that I said I was doing, but have managed to procrastinate yet again. But hey, despite having no motivation what-so-ever, I am still having the best week ever. I still have the comfort of my home and my family to keep me happy!

Tell me how you have the motivation to keep going with your dreams? How do you find the MoJo to have the best week ever? (if you do I will add you to my list of recipients to receive my new print, which I absolutely promise I am going to get around to doing in just a very short little while from now...you'll see.)

“Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony.

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” -Albert Einstein

Hello Monday! Why Monday?

2012-01-09T11:39:00.001-05:00

Why get excited when there is a whole week of work, of school, of chores, of marking off the to-do list before Friday ever gets here? Why celebrate a day that is usually reserved as the least favorite day of the week? Why look forward to the dredge known as Monday?

Why? Because Monday needs love too.

Monday is a new beginning.

Monday sets the tone.

Monday is the first day of the best week ever.

And I love Monday!

Now you know I will be dedicating a new post to my other favorite day of the week. Now you get to enjoy more regularly scheduled ramblings from your (almost, but not quite) favorite blogger. And now I have one more thing to add to my to-do list and I am glad to be doing it!

But I implore you...what do you want me to share with you that will keep you coming back all year long? Maybe even tell your friends and have them take a peak onto the musings of this slightly nutty, sometimes serious writer, artist, mother, queen-of-the-house, woman who has too much to do, too much to say and damned if she doesn’t just keep on trying?

If you have never left a comment, now is the time to do it. When Friday rolls around, it’ll be Happy Hour and it also means I will picking a random comment to....

*win a signed print of my new hand cut lino print*

…..so come on and leave some advice, share the blog, follow me on Facebook…give to me and I promise I will give back tenfold!

Thanks, and have a happy Monday!

Friday Happy Hour: Laughing Out Loud

2012-01-06T09:57:00.000-05:00

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day,

if I did not laugh I should die. ~Abraham Lincoln

Sometimes you just have to do it. You NEED to laugh. It’s necessary to laugh. And sometimes I forget such a simple thing. I get so busy getting everything “done” that I forget to have fun while I am doing it. I forget to laugh. Sure I’ll chuckle at a sitcom and smile when the kids give me a hug out of the blue. But bust out laughing, tears down your face laughing, milk through your nose laughing, peed a little bit laughing…that’s rare and it’s a shame. Honestly, I don’t think life is meant to be so serious. There is more than enough news to bring us down, but laughing and poking fun at the sheer humanity of this crazy life is intelligence at its finest.

This week was the best week ever. This week I laughed a lot. Here are just a few ways I managed to make it happen:

• Bossypants by Tina Fey. Must, must, must read. Laughed at every single word. She brings comedy to the playground and doesn’t care if we have to make fun of the cut-off sweatshirt and legwarmers…or the hair growing on our chins and the mountain women still have to climb for equality.

• The Colbert Report is back on my tv now that I signed up for Hulu Plus. Of course you can watch full episodes right on his site. I don’t watch news from any other source. His truthiness is all I need.

• An Epic Fail. What can I say, except that laughing at other people falling down is hilarious.

• This article by Marc Morford. Altogether it’s a bright way to look at life, but the humor in his intelligent way of getting a point across and the wry use of the English language makes me want to read it over and over again.

• Googling Santorum and finding that the definition fits. (do not do this if you are squeamish or prude!)

• Natalie Dee – America’s favorite cracker. Followed by The Oatmeal and Toothpaste for Breakfast. All slightly offensive, just the way I like it, and all of them make me Laugh Out Loud.

What made you laugh this week? What made this the best week ever?

Hello Monday! What's Your Word?

2012-01-02T12:58:00.003-05:00

I struggled through the first day of this year trying to say goodbye to 2011. I held on tight as it put up a good fight. I was not ready to move forward. It’s just that I am a silly sentimental fool and I’ve never been comfortable when I am aware of time passing. When I was a child I remember agonizing over the end of summer when Dad would cover the pool for winter, knowing that another season of my youth had zipped by me. That’s how I felt yesterday while putting all of the Christmas decorations away, knowing when I see them again we will all have seen another year through. In 1982 I got sad knowing I wouldn’t be a kid forever, and it is only magnified a million times in 2012 when I know my boys won’t be kids forever. Yes, 2011 was that good of a year and I tried dragging out the final days as slow and sweet as possible. But now we are on day two of 2012 and I have a feeling if I face it with my usual “Happy Hour” attitude, I can make this year even sweeter.

So, before routine settles back into our daily lives and once again I forget to be melancholy about the ticking clock, I am preparing to make a few resolutions to ensure I am making the best of another great year. You see, I believe in these sorts of things…things that stop your life for a moment and make you evaluate if you’re giving it your best shot. I believe that every day can be a new start to the beginning of a new year, but the beginning of a new year is the perfect time to make a new start.

But how does she do this in addition to her crazy monkey schedule you ask? A few years back, a creative, crafty blogger named Ali Edwards started a trend of picking one word to represent your whole year. One word to help you set goals and make improvements. One little word to replace a long list of resolutions. This is my third year participating and I have chosen the word FOCUS. I am aware that I get easily distracted from the things I want to accomplish, I let menial stuff get in the way of what’s important and I lose sight of the big picture or the simplest moment when I let life get out of focus.

I will focus on the needs of my family and not short change them the time they deserve. I will focus on what’s important or useful in my home and get rid of everything else. I will focus on filling my mind with useful information, education and good advice and not allow the rest to fill my head. I will focus on reading and writing instead of aimless internet surfing. I will focus on the world outside my doors and enroll my boys in outdoor activity. I will focus on healthy eating for everyone in this house. I will focus on doing art, not just reading or talking about it, and then I will share it with the world. I will focus on being more mindful of my words and taking the time to listen to others first, before I have determined what to say next. This is the year where one little word inspires me to live a better life; where the ticking of the clock becomes a testament of time well spent.

FOCUS

“It is a process of diverting one's scattered forces into one powerful channel.” James Allen

So, how will you start 2012? How will you make it the best year ever? What’s your word?

Friday Happy Hour: Year End Wrap Up

2011-12-30T09:29:00.000-05:00

Just as I become accustomed to writing "2011" on everything, it’s time to switch it up. Just yesterday I was trying to wrap my head around the idea of a new millennium…but now we are well into the next thousand years. And it’s amazing how much has changed in just this short amount of time. We have hand-held devices that practically control the weather and I have a teenager that practically runs the house. In a blink of an eye it all changes. And if we are doing something right, we learn and grow and change with the times. Our hearts grow bigger, our minds open to new ideas, and we become aware in this finite time that there is still so much to be done and so much love to share. We must keep moving forward with our eyes set on the year ahead of us.

But like most year-end reviews, there is a place to reflect and see what went right and what didn’t work so we can make a few adjustments in the coming year. I believe in lists and resolutions, commitments and revolutions. I believe the time is now and the answers to the future are entwined with the actions of our past. I believe that in the beginner’s mind all things are possible, but the expert’s there are few (Shunryu Suzuki.) I believe that the children are our future and we are making a mess of it. I believe there is still plenty of time to turn this ship around. I believe that compassion is more important than how much I get in my tax return. Here are a few other things I learned this year:

· I believe that reaffirming how I feel in a written blog has made me a more positive person. Writing regularly was one of my better choices this year. But regularly letting time get sucked away on useless internet surfing was one of my poorer decisions.

· Living in the moment was a skill that I began to develop this year resulting in far less anxiety and worry. Conversely I have not taken enough action towards long term goals for myself or my family leaving me to wonder how we will tackle all of our plans for the next year.

· I feel closer to my extended family that ever before, but it leaves a hole in my heart that cannot be filled when we are always so far away.

· I have learned that art fills my soul, but sadly I must cut out the crafts if I am ever to make progress as an artist.

· I have enjoyed my boys and tried to soak in every moment, every hug and every wish, forgetting that I can let go and allow them to do it on their own.

· I have rediscovered that my husband is my very best friend, but often times I forget to be a good friend to him.

· I have hungered for knowledge, forgetting that ignorance is bliss.

· I have dreamt big and still fell short.

· And most importantly, this year I have learned the secret of true happiness is wrapped up in one little word – gratitude.

This is 2011 in a nutshell. I can learn from the ups and downs and all the in-between to help make the next year even better. But the one thing I know for sure is that this was the best year ever! What about you? What ups and downs did you learn from to make this your best year ever?

Friday Happy Hour: No Gifts Please!

2011-12-16T09:03:00.001-05:00

Birthdays seem to come more frequently the older you get. When you turn eight a year is only 1/8^th of your life; when you turn 38 it’s 1/38^th and as that number grows it just magnifies how fast time speeds by you. I’ve flip flopped all year over my feelings about being in my late 30’s now and that there is no denying that I am aging. How can I pull a muscle in my back just reaching over to put on a sock? Are those sun spots? Will I actually have to color my hair for the first time ever to maintain my redhead status? And I find that I am squinting to read every now and then. And so it goes.

But I heard something the other day about aging (not that I could remember for the life of me where I heard it.) I heard that I should embrace it wholeheartedly, for not everyone is afforded the opportunity to grow old. And at that moment I found new resolve to never regret the experience of adding another year to my life. Every wrinkle will be the sign of a life well spent and every grey hair will be a sign of three loud boys running wild and keeping me on my toes. There is no better way to say I am alive, than another birthday celebration!

There is one catch, though, to all the confetti throwing and cake eating…celebrate with me, but no gifts please! About three years ago I canceled birthday gifts for the rest of my life. I’m serious! I imagined if I were lucky enough to live 95 years, how many bottles of smelly lotions would I obtain? How many times would my kids forget to get something and in embarrassment ignore me all together instead of just picking up the phone or stopping by for a chat? And I am sure the money could be used for noble causes like saving kittens from drowning, but the truth is probably more selfish than that. I don’t need random stuff, I just need you! And time well spent is the best gift of all; that I am serious about!

So this birthday is the best birthday ever and here are a few reasons why:

· Everyone in our home has found the Christmas spirit!

· I have really amazing friends.

· My husband can still impress me (speaking of aging well!)

· I see small miracles happen every day.

· My home is warm.

· I have intelligent, capable children that already seek out their future.

· I have more creative ideas than I have time fulfill, but I’m trying!

· I am afforded the opportunity to do the job I have always dreamed of doing - stay home and care for my family, or as I have self titled: I am Queen of the Home!

So cheers to me and another year! Raise a glass in celebration and tell me what made this your best week, or birthday, ever?

Friday Happy Hour: When My Heart Finds Christmas

2011-12-02T09:10:00.002-05:00

There have been times in my past that I was exhausted in November just anticipating the work to be done in December. I've only mentioned the absurdity of it all a few times. The commercialism, the perfect planning on my part, the late nights and long shopping days just to pull it all off for one day!? I've even lamented the days of my childhood when magic still existed and everything just wonderfully happened (becuse of another mother exausting herself!)

But the season need not be dreaded! It's warm in our house this year with all kinds of anticipation. The kids are excited to participate. My husband has all kinds of plans up his sleeve to make it a fun Christmas season. We have already indulged in holiday activities. We even spent our Thankgiving vacation in a festive holiday theme park. This year is looking up in the grand picture of Christmases past.

How did the whole home find Christmas again? It's a simple secret....I found Christmas in my heart. Looks like when mom has it, the good spirit spreads. It's a simple secret that is applied throughout the whole year, but doubles when December comes. So, yes, I just made up my mind and made plans to get everyone involved. I wanted the whole 25 days to be celebrated. To my surprise, as soon as I asked, everyone was more than willing - they were coming up with their own plans to make the season bright!

This has been the best week ever! I must share with you the fun things we are doing:

I am making handmade cards again for the first time in years. You can see from the picture that it is not a quick throw together, so if you want one delivered to your mailbox, you have to put your request in now!
Taylor and Gavin are actively making presents for their little brother. And for their grandparents. It's wonderful to see them excited to be doing special things for family.
Finn wakes up every morning singing Jingle Bells. Melts my heart!
David has taken it upon himself to build Lego tables and platforms to slide under the beds for each of the boys. Guess when everyone decides to get making, so does Dad!
We started the Elf on the Shelf tradition this year. Finn named him Nickelman. Fun every morning!
Advent calendars for all. Yes I made that, too!
The movie "Elf." I watch this one year round and can recite it word for word. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!
Pies, cakes, cookies, candy.....oh my!
We are making fleece tie blankets for the Linus charity that gives handmade blankets to kids in the hospital. Easy to do while we cuddle on the couch watching movies.

Tell me, what made this your best week ever? What are you doing to help your whole family find Christmas?

Friday Happy Hour: All Hands On

2011-11-18T11:20:00.001-05:00

The world is abundant of mass produced goods and digital replicas, prepackaged meals and plastic lawn ornaments. On the back of every plate is a stamp that says made in China and cards now arrive in your inbox, not your mailbox. We are easily detached from all this manufactured stuff. Our merchandise in theft proof packaging is devoid of human contact, has traveled thousands of miles and will crowd our landfills soon enough. But there is something magical about handcrafted goods because the human factor still exists. Someone actually has to take the time and put their heart into making the very thing you will use, devour, admire or hang on your wall. It seems so simple, but these little things are the very nature of our humanity.

I am a maker of these things, so it comes as no surprise that I am building a reputation of promoting a handmade revolution. We can be real for a moment – I still shop at Target and some nights DiGiorno will do for dinner. But it is so satisfying when I can do it myself. I love to see the moment when all the ideas come together and something tangible and real has come of the time and talent well invested. Most of the online communities I frequent are full of do-it-yourself kind of people. In fact they afford me more ideas than I have time to tackle! But I know there are enough artisans making quality products that I can substitute some of the things on my big box shopping list for beautiful handmade gifts.

Do you have projects planned, decorations to make, cards to send, and cookies to bake? There is something authentic to giving a homemade gift, but if you are not the making type, have you considered buying handmade from sites like etsy.com or renegadehandmade.com or doing a search for local shops in your area? In the spirit of my effort to “Occupy Christmas” and take the commercialism out of the season, I have been compiling lists of great and affordable handmade items either to make….or buy from a real live person that handled it with care and love. In an effort to keep you out of the stores on Black Friday (which now starts on Thanksgiving!!) I am hoping you will see another way to give gifts this year. Handmade is just the beginning, but certainly the most gratifying solution for my creative soul!

Spending the week elbow deep in handmade goodness has made this the best week ever. Here are a few of the lovely - practical and rather reasonably priced -things I have been admiring (links under each item):

Strawberry Fairies

Bird and Branch Necklace

Slugs - Rainboot Liners

Sherlock Holmes Book Safe & Flask Holder

Tonight I will be buzzing about in my studio, making things for you. So, will you join me? Pour some eggnog or a hot buttered rum and tell me what you are making to make this the best week ever?

Friday Happy Hour: Make it Meaningful

2011-11-11T10:20:00.000-05:00

I may have about one week left of golden fall leaves before they have all fallen from the trees. The cool autumn winds have replaced humid summer days and sweaters have replaced shorts. The sun is shining and the days are getting shorter. I think of home. I think of family. I soak in the calm before the storm of a busy holiday season. I briefly enjoy orange and yellow before red and green take over. I want to snuggle up and read a good book and make pies and share long visits with friends. Autumn is the perfect season to realign myself with all that is kind and true, reminding my soul that there is so much goodness left to be found in this world. It is the perfect season to think of giving.

If Thanksgiving is the season of gratitude, then what follows in December should be a manifestation of those feelings. I keep thinking about how I want to share the love I feel. My heart is full and there are people in my life that I want to say thank-you for another wonderful year. And who can deny that first look on the children’s faces in the wee hours of Christmas morning? So, every year when the leaves have all descended from their homes above and made a pile big enough for jumping, I know it’s also time to finalize the game plan for the Holidays.

This must be the reason we all get caught up in the buying frenzy. But the mounting tab for useless plastics and smelly lotions boggles my mind. It’s always been a bit unsettling to me to say I think of you all year fondly with this gift pack I picked up in the checkout line of Costco stamped “made in China.” It’s no secret that there have been more than enough Christmases past that I have resented the whole process. I was feeling a bit Bah Humbug about the whole thing again, until I stopped for a day or two and began to let this simple fact soak in…the change begins with me. After all, it’s what I have been saying about everything else this year. For all the times that ringing in the New Year has left me exhausted and saying “Merry Giftmas” was more appropriate; I vow to do it differently this time. I will give with meaning, or I won’t give at all. I will not tire myself of shopping, wrapping, shipping and checking the credit card statement; making, baking, toiling and slaving for naught. It will come from the heart, or it won’t come at all! And more importantly – my kids know it!

We are all on board this year and I can honestly say I am surprised! This pleasant turn of direction has made it the best week ever! Let me give you a few more reasons why:

· I asked the kids to make gifts for each other and their relatives and they were excited and full of ideas. Who would have known?

· Yummy pumpkin everything.

· Everyone in this house has agreed that less would be more this year.

· Harry for the Holidays.

· We are starting a service project together. Handmade fleece blankets for kids in the hospital and the best part is that we can snuggle up on the couch watching movie together while we do it!

· I’m thinking outside the box for special gifts from local shops or services in hopes to make mall time minimal and American Made possible.

· David has a lot of leave time he needs to use up. Which means lots of family time this season. Which is in fact the best gift of all!

So, as fall is wrapping up and Christmas swings into full gear, how will you make it meaningful? How will you give from the heart? How will you make it the best week ever?

Friday Happy Hour: Share the Love

2011-11-04T09:53:00.002-04:00

At this very moment I have a full pantry and a full fridge and more than enough food to put a full spread on our table, despite the skyrocketing prices of food. It’s shocking to see our food bills climb when the paychecks stay the same. It means making different choices about what we buy and prioritizing how we spend our money. Less going out and more time eating in. Less premade food and more homemade meals. Far more homes are growing gardens and turning to traditions we haven’t seen in ages like canning, bread making and long term food storage. Most families I talk to have become keenly aware of the need to be more self reliant and less self indulgent. It feels good to take charge and still come away with full bellies in a warm home.

Unfortunately cuts backs for everyone also means cut backs in giving. America’s food banks are falling short at a time when the amount of people in need has increased. Yep, I’m getting on my soap box. There are many of us who have enough to share with those who have too little. My boys hauled in 40 pound backpacks to school today because they were told that last year the county’s food drive fell thousands of pounds short of what they needed. And I think we were among the many who forgot to donate. Well, not this year! I figure that if I could pick up a couple extra items every time I went food shopping and drop it in the donation box…and if I could encourage everyone I know to do this…well, you get the idea.

So, yeah, for Happy Hour this week, I am buying canned goods instead of drinks! How about you? Will you buy beans instead of beer, macaroni instead of margaritas, or stuffing instead of soda? Because we have food on our table, it has been the best week ever! Here are a few other things that make it the best week ever:

· Everyone is healthy (despite a sugar overload).

· I have found mittens and hats and winter coats that fit everyone, without the need to go shopping.

· The kids have enthusiastically agreed to help make some Christmas gifts this year.

· Fall colors in Maryland are amazing and vibrant.

· When it’s cold out, we have heat.

· I have two eyes and two hands and a mind that all have the ability to create.

· Good and kind people have inspired me to look at life in new and wonderful ways every day.

How about you? Do you have enough on your table to have had the best week ever? How do you plan on sharing the Love?

Friday Happy Hour: The Weekend Smile

2011-10-21T09:08:00.002-04:00

It’s Friday morning and the weekend smile has begun. I’d like to say that things slow down around here and we can take it easy, but in our house, the weekends are quite the opposite. We are running from sporting events, to family events, to house projects and yard work. But we are together. We can take few extra minute to linger over coffee, use our best teamwork skills to get a job done, or take the afternoon off and explore the beach. Yup, weekends are still my favorite part of the week.

No matter what challenges we faced during the week, what news filled our heads and worries were on our shoulders, the weekend is a good time to bring life back into focus. I suggest the best remedy for a long week is time with people you love, a moment of silent gratitude and play time. Laugh a little, go outdoors, and put your arms around someone important. It won’t be long before you are wearing the weekend smile, too! And this Friday I’m ready to SMILE, kick back and reflect on the best week (or two) ever because you would not believe how good life has been:

· I finally got to spend a week with my sister after a 3 year time gap. Now I miss her even more, knowing how great we are together, but that just means I know how much I love her.

· We were caught in a rain shower after a morning digging in the sand at Sandy Point State park’s beach.

· Liz Lemon makes me laugh so hard!

· I know it’s a month early, but I am making a big turkey dinner tonight. We are so lucky to be well fed.

· My middlest son had a very cool birthday party that left him grinning from ear to ear. Check out the cake I made!

· The laundry is done and put away…at least for the next six hours!

· I’ve got new art to share. Soon, very soon!

Tell me, what put the weekend smile on your face? What made this the best week ever?

7 Layer Rainbow Cake

Friday Happy Hour: Need I Say More

2011-10-14T18:58:00.000-04:00

Friday Happy Hour: You, me and Z

2011-10-07T09:44:00.000-04:00

Well, it turns out that I have been fighting off Pneumonia for the last two weeks. Couldn’t do it all on my own, so I got some help from Zithromax. I am grateful that humans have been given the wisdom to discover modern medicine and before long I will be back and running as usual. I know droning on about being sick is not an exciting story to read, but those who are sticking it through to the end of the paragraph are the ones I want to share my thoughts with today the most. Z can only do so much.

The power of thought and love go a long way when you are sick, and when I have felt my worst, it was you I was focusing on. Your love, strength, prayers, positive energy and well wishes you’ve shared with me are the sentiments I breathe into my lungs, while everything else is sent out! Every day when I find a quiet moment, in my mini-prayers and meditation, I visualize you.

· I visualize my grandmother and aunt that have passed but leave a strong spirit of love on the shoulders of their loved ones.

· I visualize my aunts and cousins that have been so supportive, even when I am not sick they continually fill my heart with love.

· I visualize my mom always wanting the best for me because she has been in my shoes before and I know she wants to see me happy and fulfilled.

· I visualize my father and his own power of positive thought that he continually shares with me.

· I visualize the love and literally benefit from the hugs (and heaps of help) of my family living under my own roof.

· I visualize my very close Mother-in-Law, who even though I get to spend time with her, I know that the rest of the time she spends thinking of me and my family because that is where her heart is always.

· I visualize my “new” sister by marriage and I know that being close to her is creating a bond to last a lifetime.

· I visualize so many supportive friends that I know would be here if I just ask because they are genuine in their friendship.

· I visualize the good people I have only known on the World Wide Web because even the power of love from those never met is source of strength.

· And of course I visualize the love I share with my sister. This is not a bond that can even be described, but time and space apart doesn’t stop us from being soul mates.

I find my spiritual strength, the strength to heal, in the love I have mentioned and sometimes sources that I didn’t know were there in the first place. But ultimately, it turns out that when I take the time to focus on this love that has been so generously given to me by so many good and kind people, then I know I can find the strength to do anything. So you, me and Z we are going to send this illness packing! Because of your love – this has been the best week ever

Friday Happy Hour: In Bed

2011-09-30T09:05:00.000-04:00

Is where I should be. No margaritas for me, just orange juice and rest. If wild boys will allow it! It’s not flu season, but somehow I’ve managed to pick up a whopper. I will spare you the details, but let me tell you that today I value health (and Advil) more than anything! And I am grateful that we have good doctors, my husband has more than enough sick leave that he could hang out with me, and my boys felt sympathetic to their ol’ mom – as long as they weren’t hungry (or tired, or bored, or looking for lost uniforms…). So, yeah, it feels a bit like my body is being used as a construction site this week, but when it’s over, who knows what part of the structure has been re-enforced? Stronger than before, right?

As far as peace and quiet with a house full of monkeys…I’m accepting that is just not where I am in life right now, and, well, I wouldn’t have it any other way. It would be no fun to be sick and alone! It’s the monkeys that remind me that it’s still the best week ever! Sure, I’ll still make a list:

· Homemade soup, stock and all. (ok, yes, I still made my own chicken and rice soup!? crazy lady!)

· Strength enough to stick to the rules and dole out punishments…let’s see who has learned lessons by the end of the week?

· Did I mention my husband took time off? It was nice just to have someone to hug when I really felt like crap!

· My monkeys brought more monkeys over and ran rampant through the neighborhood, just like boys should do!

· Fabulous documentaries on Netflix that re-affirm that even in our economy is in shambles, we are still blessed with so much in America.

· Lots of love sent over that Facebook connection. Don’t know what I would do without it!

· A home that I continually feel comforted in. It carries the spirit of love from the last owners, I’m sure, but we have made it a very happy place to be, even when we’re at our worst.

Can you find the positive in a negative situation? I am setting this goal every week, flu or no flu, fabulous or not, because there is no other way to live life. So, tell me, what made this the best week ever for you?

Friday Happy Hour: Words of Wisdom

2011-09-23T10:43:00.000-04:00

Everyone needs inspiration to get through the day. For some it’s just a ride with the top down and good music blaring and for others they turn to written word. I have found myself seeking that which uplifts and inspires me from all sources and then mixing it up into my own mash of inspirational goodness. And it is amazing where the goodness turns up! Facebook statuses, NPR, Mumford and Sons, an art documentary, Pinterest.com, my children and their wild, innocent ideas about life, or my husband struggling to find a path of truth through a sea of misfit government employees. Now I carry a notebook where ever I go because I am saving these things to use as arsenal at a later time.

...Because at any time the weight of the world could crush us if it were not for that which continually gives us strength to climb above it. If one positive voice can be heard above the useless negativity, it might just give us enough courage to live a better life, even if it is one day at a time. And I believe reinforcing these ideas through signs and music, conversation and written word, action and humble silence, will make a difference on how much of it sinks into your being and becomes a part of your daily thought.

This week has been the best week ever because I have really been absorbing these great ideas and turning them into something tangible. I have been sketching, making watercolors and carving stamps with fabulous quotes on them. And each time I finish another piece of written art I feel inspired to share the goodness and I emerge from the studio with a happier soul. I will be ready to open a new Etsy.com shop by October so I can share the goodness with everyone, but in the mean time I am posting a few of my prints and ideas right here to share with you to help you have the best week ever. These are my favorites right now:

· “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” Goethe

· “It’s not the long walk home that will change this heart, but the welcome I receive with a restart.” & “I need to know how to live my life as it’s meant to be.” & “Where you invest your love, you invest your life.” Mumford and sons

· “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities. In the expert’s mind there are few.” Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind

· “We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.” Churchill

· “Everything is fine, not final.” & “Keep your eyes open as if everyone else is a poet.” Jason Mraz

· “You have to be brave with your life so others can be brave with theirs.” unknown

· “Let’s have an awesome day, okay?” Jena Garzaniti (my sister on her FB status)

· “As we grow old, the beauty steals inward.” Emerson

· “Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.” Bertolt Brecht

· “Amazing people do not just happen.” unknown

· “Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit.” Thoreau

· When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me.” Erma Bombeck

What are your favorite quotes? Share them with me and I may even be inspired to make a new print or painting out of your quote and if I do, I will surely send you a copy! Tell me, What inspired you to have the best week ever?

Friday Happy Hour: Always The Best Week Ever

2011-09-16T09:29:00.001-04:00

Truth. Some weeks are better than others. The boys are getting over Pneumonia. We have soccer seven days this week which means that our anniversary weekend is going to be interrupted and dinner will not be served at the table this week. It rained so much in the North East I thought we were going to float away, or at least kill each other for being cooped up so long. My youngest boy is the master of throwing tantrums. I am procrastinating things I must do and things I want to do, while the to-do list keeps growing. I really should go jogging. And I don’t think David has any life outside of work and assistant coaching two soccer teams so who am I to complain?

But the sun is shining on this very cool September day and I am ready to celebrate the best week ever. How is it that every week is the best week ever, especially after the last couple weeks we’ve had? Because how can it not be the best to live this life? How can I not make every moment count? When I come to the end of another week, no matter what happened, I must allow the influence of “Friday Happy Hour” to take over and remind me that I am living a beautiful life. In a beautiful home, with three wonderful children and a very hard-working and loving husband. I can’t help feeling like it’s the best week ever when I put being alive and living my life in context to the rest of the world!

So, that is why every week is the best week ever. That is why I have been reinforcing it through writing and proclaiming it to the world. That is the power of believing. What other positive things can I say about this week?

· I watched a few episodes of “Mad Men” and became deeply grateful for the progress we have made in racism, sexism, health and so many more things in the 21^st century. Maybe we have made some progress.

· Finley is now the proud owner of a Captain America costume and sometimes I can use “What would Captain America do?” as a motivator to get him to do the right thing.

· The garage is clean and David can park his Jeep in it again. That was all his doing. Pretty amazing if you ask me.

· Gavin spent hours with me in my studio drawing. This week he says he wants to be an artist when he grows up. We’ll see on that, but he knows how to get on his momma’s good side!

· At the doctor’s office we discovered this year Taylor has put on a lot of weight and grown a couple inches…after struggling with being sick for a couple years, it is great to see him healthy.

· I met local artists at a gallery opening and was inspired to make another step forward. I have loved crafting for so long….but I have to keep making the transition to painting and fine art. It will happen!

· David and I will be celebrating our 13^th anniversary. It’s no easy feat, but so very worth it. Marriage is not for sissies!

So, that’s this week. How about you? Can you find a reason to make every week the best week ever? Will you celebrate Happy Hour with me? I’ve got Sangria and a smile…

Sunday Confessional: A Citizen's Speech

2011-09-11T08:26:00.002-04:00

I will speak my hard honest opinion on this 10^th anniversary. An evil man at the bottom of his watery grave is rolling over victorious today. We are fighting terrorism, racism, extremism, injustice and inequality and in the same breath we slowly become that thing which we abhor. We are struggling through loss of life, homelessness, poverty, weakening education, cracking infrastructure, and crumbling moral, yet our leaders are more polarized, pointing more fingers and unwilling to compromise in order to bring us out of this turmoil. Love is Lost. “United We Stand” is a forgotten sentiment and in its place is a nation divided against itself.

In the weeks and months following September the Eleventh we stood arm in arm in solidarity. We held hands and cared for our American neighbor. For we had all lost. We were all forever changed. But we vowed we would not let the enemy win. We would hold strong as One. One country. One people. One testament of strength in the face of anyone who would do us harm. Do you remember that feeling of loss and heartbreak for all 300 million of us at once? And the feeling that followed when we raised the flag out of the ashes and onto our rooftops, overpasses and car windows? We had a moment in time where we could look at a stranger and know that our differences didn’t matter because we were in this together.

But something happened. And like lemurs we all jumped off the cliff together into a senseless void. We lost our way. Lost our souls. And hardened our hearts and slowly allowed the enemy to win. What have we done to this great nation? How in the world can we pull ourselves up from this darkness? Hope will not be found in the actions of our leaders, our Congressmen, our CEOs, our Generals, or the petty thief willing to take the last nickel of our American Pride. No change will be found in those great hypocritical voices you are waiting to speak up for you! This is not somebody else’s mess to walk past and leave for another generation.

Patriotism comes from inside. It rests on your shoulders; you carry the burden on your back to make this change. It is what we choose as citizens to do differently today that will determine if we can stand united tomorrow. Will you put racism and judgment aside? Will you get off your soapbox of righteousness and be humbled? Will you reach out to your neighbor and help raise the barn? Will you put the anger aside long enough to make your voice of encouragement heard? Will you stop believing the hype and trust in your heart? Will you love your country? Do not ignore the opportunity. When we all make the step together, it is louder than any bomb. And only then when we begin to care enough and find compassion again will we turn this story around, honor to the sacrifices made on that fateful day and give it the grande finale it deserves.

Feed Them Breakfast

2011-09-06T09:53:00.000-04:00

I don't think I need to extol the virtues of breakfast. I won't repeat what you have heard a million times, but it's true. Not just for them, but for you! So, instead of regurgitating the facts I will just give you a week's worth of very good choices that take only 15 minutes or can be prepped the night before so you can't make anymore excuses for yourself or your family!

DAY ONE: Whole grain French Toast, topped with mango, plain greek yogurt and real maple syrup. Kids might prefer vanilla yogurt, but the contrast of the plain with sweet fuit and maple syrup is what makes this one yummy! What other fruit is in season? Strawberries, peaches, pears...it's your call!

Mango topped Whole Wheat French Bread

DAY TWO: Whole Grain Oatmeal Banana Bread. My kids are picky about whole grains and substitutions, but they love this bread. Make a couple loaves the night before and you have a couple days worth of breakfast. We like to toast a slice and top with cream cheese. You could make these modifications for pumpkin bread or zuchini bread.

Here is my recipe conversion of the classic Banana Bread:

5 ripe bananas

2/3 c. Greek Yogurt

2 eggs

3/4 c. demera sugar

1/4 c. honey

2 c. flour (King Arthur's whole wheat white flour)

1 c. oat flour (Bob's Red Mill)

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1 Tbs. baking powder

Mix bananas, yogurt, eggs, sugar and honey. Add all the dry ingredients. Mix well. Pour into two greased bread pans. Optional - sprinkle top with dry oats and demera sugar. Bake in a 350 F oven for 50-55 minutes or until cooked through. Let cool completely before slicing. Keeps well if wrapped and at room temperature.

Low Fat Oatmeal Banana Bread

DAY THREE: Home cooked "McMuffin" Come on, you haven't thought of this? Scramble some eggs, top with real cheddar cheese and add a slice of (natural, nitrate free) ham to your English Muffin! You could use a whole grain muffin, or a sweet cinnamon raisin bagel, or toast, etc...top with turkey bacon or turkey sausage to keep it light but change it up every once in awhile. This breakfast is a great one to make and take - or as I like to do, send with my husband to work so he eats something besides Pop Tarts!

Homemade "McMuffin"

DAY FOUR: Oatmeal. It's loved in our house. But I never make instant. Buy the 5 minute cooking oatmeal, following the portion size you need to fit your family (then add an extra serving or two because you will come back for more) and then throw in the good stuff while it's cooking. In this version I made Apple Raisin Oatmeal. Added cinnamon and vanilla, too. I topped mine with pumpkin and sesame seeds. Other versions we have gobbled up at our home would be Purple Monster Oatmeal - blueberries that burst when cooking make the whole dish purple! Mango Maddness Oatmeal. Peaches and Cream Oatmeal. The trick to healthy natural oatmeal is to throw the fruit and spices in about three minute before it is done cooking. The fruit naturally sweetens the oatmeal but still retains it's texture this way. If you still like your oatmeal sweeter add a little honey or demera sugar, but taste it first to see how much you will need. This stuff really is good on it's own!

Disappearing Apple Oatmeal

DAY FIVE: Breakfast Burritos. Or Tacos. I love mine on these corn tortillas made by La Tortilla Factory. But how, you ask, do I have time to saute all those veggies? At night when I am prepping dinner, say I am making fajitas or an Indian dish, I make lots of extra onions, peppers, mushrooms, and tomatoes and any other vegetable and put them aside for later. The next morning I can scramble my eggs and add already cooked veggies (the type and the amount each person likes) right to the eggs. Top with cheese or salsa and wrap up in a tortilla. Skip the tortilla and go for extra veggies if you want to stick to your diet!

Breakfast Burrito

See how easy and yummy that is? If you get up fifteen minutes earlier, then everyone can leave the door well fed! Take these ideas and go with it. Mix it up, add something else and tell me what you did. Make it yours, but just make it!

Friday Happy Hour: Safe and Sound

2011-09-02T09:34:00.000-04:00

At the end of the day, no matter how long the hurriquake lasted, if you are safe under one roof together, then it’s a good day. This week was just that simple. Plus we are lucky that after a whole lot of dancing with Mother Nature we are left unharmed. Or better than that, we are closer than before, well rested, and properly prepared for the next time! So, yeah, I’m kicking back this afternoon with an icy margarita after a week of beautiful sunshine and enjoying the best week ever!

And you? Grab a drink while I share with you some of my favorite blog posts from the past and maybe one of them will remind you why this was your best week ever, too!

Welcome to Belgium My first blog post ever, back in the day when I lived in Europe.

See You Later, Not Goodbye When my husband was deployed to Afghanistan in 2008.

Perfectly Perfect Recounting the birth of my third son and the trouble we had with his kidney.

LudiCristmas My thoughts on Christmas 2008, which still hold true today.

My Final Paper The last paper I wrote for a college course - it's about divorce, not camping.

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow About leaving Belgium and moving home in 2010.

Significant Changes The moment I decided to bravely post my plans for the future.

Go Find Yourself My first challenge as I ramped up the amount of work I was putting into blogging.

Sunday Confessional A moment of honesty about who I am, and that we all could use some honesty about our faults.

Sweat and Tears Time to get real and start taking care of the one body we have been given.

Where You Invest Your Time Don't forget this month's Challenge - Come on and give it a try, you'll be glad you did!

And on a final note - if you brave enough you will read THIS POST on another blog. The Brave Girls Club is a cool idea. But this post had me in tears today because, well, it's sad and inspiring AND exactly what I am trying to achieve in my outlook in life. Hope you have a great weekend!

Ten Before the Tenth: Where You Invest Your Time

2011-09-01T11:42:00.001-04:00

"Where you invest your love, you invest your life." Mumford and Sons

Summer is winding down and school has begun again. I can feel the closing of another year. Time passes quickly and when I think about it I choke on my heart welling up inside of me. Slow down days!

I wake every morning grateful to begin a new day so full of possibility. Glad again to see each face of the people I love; the people I share my every day. The coffee is poured, lunches are made and encouragement is shared before a foot is set out the door. What gets me out of bed is the motivation to make another good day happen.

As dusk settles in I know the hours have passed and another day is out of my hands. Time slips quietly away from me; a little stream picking up speed until it becomes a raging river rushing out to sea. And like water, I cannot hold on to time.

I lay my head down again tonight, satisfied that we are all safe under one roof, but sorrowful that all my hopes for the day were not accomplished and the memories I hold on to are an attempt to put the brakes on an ever increasing fast pace life. I close my eyes wondering how I can do it differently. How can I do it better tomorrow? What choices will I make to improve the next dozen days of my life? If the world is spinning in circles around me, what direction am I going to step off in? What am I saying back to the world about what is important to me? How will I invest my time?

On the first of every month I like to post a challenge in hopes of inspiring you to do better, be better, and maybe spread a little goodness. This month I am asking you to get serious about how you spend your days and where you invest your time. It is never too late to re-access the year. September leaves us with four more months and more than enough time to make changes and set new goals. Take the time now to make a list of TEN meaningful things you will do before the end of this year. Concrete, abstract, a big project or a daily habit; it doesn’t matter as long as it’s important to you, your future, and the people you affect the most.

You have until the 10^th at 6pm EST to report back here and share your list. Share what you can, but I encourage you to do so because when you put it out to the world you will find yourself more accountable. As usual, I have a gift. This month everyone wins one of my new hand carved, hand pulled lino cut art prints if you participate. (You must send me your address via e-mail once you have completed the challenge!) And, of course, you will have my gratitude!

Are you up for the challenge?

Are you ready to make every moment count?

Tuesday's Traveler: Paris by Stroller

2011-08-30T10:09:00.001-04:00

I arrived in Paris by train with a very large bag on my back and pushing my 18 month old son in a small orange stroller, heavy laden with all sorts of bribes and necessities. I carried that stroller with baby inside, in my arms along with all the requirements for a four day trip up the winding Metro stairs and walked out into the sunshine of the wide open streets. I set him down, accessed my surroundings and breathed in the fresh baked goodness of the nearby Boulangerie. Hello City of Lights, Love and Art! The hotel was marked on the map and we took off West, eleven blocks down the road.

Some time and a few fresh diapers later I was relaxing at a corner café, baby in orange stroller still by my side. I had a Rendezvous with my world traveling mother and her fabulous partner. By candle light and the Grace of God we would dine in peace as baby took a late evening nap. What did we have? Cheese, bread, wine, seafood? It was the excitement in conversation and observation of nightlife passing us in the great city of Paris that I remember. For a meal like this you can try to savor every bite, but it’s the company you keep that makes it memorable.

Our days seemed to follow the same trend. We would meet once we’d pulled ourselves together enough for coffee (or milk) and fresh pickings from the market. Then we would walk. So many kilometers of Paris to discover by foot. So much land to cover on four little wheels. Heave, ho. Together we would grab a handle or a wheel and carry him upstairs, down broken paths, onto subways and ultimately up all the steps to Le Sacre Cour. When we arrived at the museum du’jour, I inevitably had a sleeper in the stroller and just enough time to enjoy the sites uninterrupted. There was plenty of time later in the day to run through city parks and stretch little legs. Eat frites, chicken and tapas and stare up at the bright lights of the Eiffel Tower. Our shutters never closed on the camera lenses in which we viewed the experience of life in Paris. We would each enjoy the city in a manner fitting of small and great desires.

How much could I get away with, toting a toddler with me to every corner of this amazing city without protest? I think it was the last time he was ever good for me. I used up all my points in Paris to walk the streets with a quiet little observer. To see the Moulin Rouge and the impressionists at the D’Orsay. To eat crepes in Montemarte and stroll the Seine past Notre Dame and The Louvre and to keep going until the sun was no more. Even in awkward moments of squeezing onto crowded subway cars or standing in long lines, I was grateful he could come along pleasantly for the ride.

Sooner or later we had to say goodbye to our travel partners and get on the train. Tired of a narrow view and playing with his shoes for days on end, the boy was restless and uninterested in sitting still all the way home. I quieted him with snacks and a story. The adventure was almost over. So much ground was covered in a few short days, but from his view he could still see the world.

This story and all photos are taken in July of 2009

Friday Happy Hour: DON'T PANIC!

2011-08-26T07:00:00.001-04:00

A 5.9 earthquake showing up where it didn’t belong was just the shake-up I needed to remind me I am not in charge. When Mother Nature wants to stretch, then she will do it no matter who is in her way. While she’s at it, an angry storm is coming from the South. She might throw in some locust and plague if she gets real feisty! We are not in control. We never were. We don’t get a vote if the ground is going to shake, the crops are going to grow, Bernanke is going to control the rate of inflation, or your neighbor will be nice to you today.

There is only YOU. And only you can control how YOU will handle the everyday unexpected.

Will you run from the building hollering and do a face plant on the sidewalk? Will you have a little something put aside for a rainy day, or lots for a flooding day? Will you have enough self control to not react in the face of disaster or rudeness? Who is counting on you at the apex of the crisis? How will you choose to handle the situation? It is the only part of the equation that you have any control over so you have to decide now - are you going to ride out the storm or sink with the ship?

I’ve got my 15 gallons of water, plenty of extra batteries and a smile ready to face the weekend. And if the hurricane blows off to sea, I will be very grateful because I know this is not a game. What else am I doing to make sure this turns out to be the best week ever?

· Fill up both cars with gas on Saturday

· Bought candles, a lantern, charcoal and a propane stove (yes, I bought the propane, too!)

· Also a rechargeable battery pack - that can be charge in the car

· Fill the coolers with ice Sunday morning

· I will run the dishwasher, vacuum and have the laundry done Sat. night (if the power is out for a week I will be grateful for these few things being done one more time, if a tree falls on the house, then it will be for nothing!)

· All important documents and medicine will be in my hand bag in case we have to leave quickly.

· iPods, phones, and handle held devices will all be charged (but I also have books and board games, boys!)

· Find old fashion radio with batteries (but we have one in the car, so I guess it counts)

· Bring all lawn furniture, garbage cans and decorations in to the garage

· Eat up the perishables

· Buy beer, put in iced coolers – now we’re good to go!

But no matter what, I am devising a plan that will ensure I can get fresh hot coffee even if the power goes out for days. Want to share a cup? If it gets really bad you can bring the Bailey’s Irish Cream and we can still talk about how this turned out to be the best week ever despite the natural disasters! So, tell me, how are you preparing yourself, this week and every week?

Actual (random from the internet) photo from earthquake's distruction...

Friday Happy Hour: Ideas Don't Keep

2011-08-19T09:12:00.000-04:00

And neither do children. I have grandiose dreams of being a writer, a painter, a designer, an illustrator, a social media master, a maker of many things; but time is short and the kids still need to be fed. So I pace myself and find time in between loads of laundry, play group and wiping noses. I won’t have this time again. When they have flown the coop I will wonder where it went and wish for them to need me again. But I have ideas now. And I am writing them down and sketching them out. And if I have a quiet afternoon once in awhile I will do what I need to do. I will create.

And I will not regret a single moment of any day. If I am wrestling monkeys or planning my next big project, then I am doing exactly what I was meant to be doing. The more I find myself enjoying the everyday moments, the more I find I am overflowing with creativity. Because ideas don’t keep, I keep a notebook and remind myself that it’s all there waiting when I finally wander down to my studio. This week was a fine balance between my two loves. I cooked yummy meals and played with my boys and enjoyed my home thoroughly. I was also lucky enough to squeeze in some time for my creative self. Once again, it was the best week ever and here are a few more reasons:

· I found 16 vintage blue Mason jars in a “Free Pickings” pile. Score!

· I made a bouquet from my garden and used one of those jars.

· We played in the rain. And boy did it rain a lot this week!

· I filled up my sketchbook with lots of ideas for paintings, paper crafts, and lino cuts.

· We went to the dentist and no one had cavities.

· The boys and I had a tea party…no really we did and it was fun.

· I got up early with David before he went to work to enjoy a quiet house and see him off.

· Tonight my sister-in-law will come over for some scrappy girl time.

I can toast to that! What about you? What made this your best week ever?

The Accidental Garden

2011-08-17T08:08:00.003-04:00

It was a totally unexpected garden. I wasn’t planning it, but I always wanted to have one when the time was right. Sometimes things happen that are not part of your agenda in life and you have to adapt and be ready to take on new responsibilities. Fortunately the reward at the end is worth all the nurturing and hard work. Yes, I am still talking tomatoes and cucumbers and how I got my accidental garden.

I felt obligated to the little homeless plants and decided that if they wanted to live they would have to survive in the untilled, untreated, unfertilized, boring rocky soil in my front yard. Some went in large containers, some went in the flower bed and many were relegated to the pathetic soil on the slope of the side yard. The seedlings arrived unmarked from an excess purchase a dear friend made and didn’t have space for in her garden. I didn’t have a clue what half the plants were that were being haphazardly planted in the ground. But they grew indeed: tomatoes, yellow squash, cantaloupe, spaghetti squash, peppers and lots and lots of cucumbers. And they made me excited, so I ran out and bought a few more. Soon four tomato plants turned into a dozen, hot peppers join the sweet and I couldn’t forget a hopeful (and still struggling) pumpkin vine while I was at it.

I began plans to expand next year. No space was safe. Fences would have to go up and irrigation lines put in. Maybe berries and corn and peach trees! I even fantasized about my own beehives and chicken coops. No doubt it’s fabulous to know where your food comes from and the can-do spirit is addictive, but seriously! I have my hands full already and am thoroughly content in this year’s crop. Besides, I discovered some local farms that have a done a fabulous job for me! Sometimes, though, all it takes is one homegrown tomato to help you discover your inner pioneer spirit!

So when life gives you unexpected cucumbers, what better thing to do than make pickles! Here’s my simple version of a popular recipe. I’ve played around with it this summer several times and find that I like the dried dill better than fresh and some white wine vinegar adds just the right vinegar taste. I don’t like it too sweet either and many recipes call for much more sugar. It’s your call on that one. If you have other veggies, you can throw them in, too. I love to add hot or sweet peppers. My favorite thing to serve with this many pickles? Slow cooked barbeque pulled pork. Sweet and sour go great together!

Refrigerator Pickles

3 large pickles, approximately 2 cups sliced

2 c. water

¾ c. white vinegar

¾ c. white wine vinegar

¼ c. sugar

1 Tbs. rock sea salt or kosher salt

(reduce to 1/2 Tbs table salt if substituting)

1 Tbs dried dill

1Tbs dill seed

1Tbs mustard seed

Start by mixing ¼ c. boiling water with the salt and sugar to dissolve. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. Cover and store in fridge for at least a couple hours to marinate. They are certainly better after 24 hours. Many recipes claim they are good for weeks in the fridge, but I wouldn’t know because they never last that long! So give it a try. Change it up a bit if you like. Make it yours, but just make it!

Friday Happy Hour: Old Friends, New Friends

2011-08-12T09:54:00.002-04:00

It’s been another wonderful, BUSY week in suburban paradise. We’ve had friends coming and going and met many new ones along the way. There is something so settling knowing that there are wonderful people spread around this world that I can still call friend and in a moment, whether by message over internet or by sharing a drink and conversation in person, we can connect again. Like time never mattered and a couple hours or a few days together erases the gap from the last time we met and the kids are all best friends once again. Or the simplest of comments on Facebook reminds me that you are still out there and if we are lucky our paths will cross again.

And as luck follows me so does the opportunity for friendship, seeking me out and finding me again and again. I joined a new playgroup for my youngest which has introduced me to so many welcoming women in my community. And a new soccer team for Gavin surprised me with a chance at new friendships for all of us as they greeted enthusiastically on the field last night. A knowing smile in the store over grumpy toddlers, signing up to volunteer, an introduction to a neighbor who shares an interest in gardening, school days and parents of classmates….all chances where we can connect and make a new friendship. Or at the very least share some kindness with a stranger and be reminded that friendship can happen in the slightest of moments leaving us to feel like the world is still filled with possibility.

So, this Friday I will raise a glass to friendship, old and new, and especially the ones I am yet to meet! This has been the best week ever and here are a few reasons why:

· I mailed art to friends

· I made salsa and shared it with friends

· I’ve got all 3 boys in soccer, which means 3x the opportunity for friends

· I stopped in for the MOMs group meeting and met a dozen great friends

· I explored Ft. McHenry with my family and our close friends

· I’m going out on a hot date tonight with my best friend

Tell me, what opportunities did you have for friendship this week? What made it your best week ever?

One More Thing:

I have a winner from this month's challenge: Angela!! I will be giving her an original piece of art as a gift. Thank-you to those who participated. Next month I will have another personal challenge, won't you give it a try!?

Something I made....

2011-08-08T09:08:00.006-04:00

There is little that is more satisfying to me in the domestic world than doing it myself; from growing food, to making bread and canning preserves, crafts and decorating, and even sewing projects. All the things you would find a good fifties house wife doing, even if you know that I am anything but that! The good news is that doing-it-yourself is making a comeback with our stinky economy and zombies on the rise. So, what did you expect me to do when I found a box of second tomatoes at the local farm for only six dollars? Add all the peppers and I probably spent less than $1 on each jar of fresh homemade salsa! How did I do it?

15 c. peeled and chopped fresh tomatoes

3 c. fine chopped red onion

1 c. chopped sweet bell pepper

3-5 minced jalapenos

3-5 minced peppers, aneheim, pablano, habanero!

3 cloves crushed garlic

2 c. cider or red wine vinegar

1 ½ Tbs. sea salt (use less for table salt)

3 Tbs. turbinado sugar

1/4 c. tomato paste

1 ½ Tbs. chili powder

½ tsp. celery seed

Fresh ground pepper to taste

Fresh chopped cilantro to taste

1 can pineapple or peaches (optional)

The instructions are too easy for this one: mix all the ingredients in a non-reactive pot, cook on medium for about ten minutes or until vegetables are wilted. This salsa will keep in the fridge for a couple weeks, but, if you want to preserve your salsa for later then jar it and process in a 20 minute water bath according to instructions on Freshpreserving.com for food handling safety.

But of course I have a few tips and tricks. First, from experience, you must wear rubber gloves while chopping hot peppers! One time the juices burned my hands (and subsequently my eyes!) and for days they were on fire. Second, test those peppers to see how hot they really are – yes, you have to taste them – because you never know and you might want to use less or more depending on how hot you like salsa. And why not double as long as you are going to the trouble in the first place, but hopefully you will have a food processor to help you with the chopping!

Here’s a bonus tip for you, too! After I have added all the veggies to the pot, but before I put in vinegar and spices, I mix everything really well and let the flavors meld for a few minutes. I then strain the liquid into a medium sized sauce pan. Once you get this liquid on a slow boil, add a 1/2 cup of vinegar, a ¼ tsp. red cayenne pepper, 1 tsp. chili powder and black pepper to taste and keep it simmering until it is reduced to at least a quarter of it's original mass. And voila, you also have taco sauce!

As far as this recipe in concerned, you can add or omit many of the ingredients as long as you stick to the tomato to vinegar ratio. For example – I love cilantro and will put a whole cup in my recipe, but some people in my house wish I had only put in a couple tablespoons! If you want to omit the sugar or spices, you can and then use other seasonings as well. Don’t like too many peppers? Want to throw in other veggies or fruit? Make it yours, but just make it!

And when you are done, maybe you can make a yummy chicken and white bean soup to top it on!?

10 Before the 10th: Thank-you

2011-08-01T20:18:00.001-04:00

Thank-you for taking time to read my blog, participate, and leave a comment from time to time.

Thank-you for being a good friend and calling me up when I need you the most.

Thank-you for inspiring me to move forward with my art even when I have doubt.

Thank-you for showing me how to have a heart full of love and acceptance when I’ve hardly even known you all these years.

Thank-you for knowing when enough is enough and that it’s better to walk away from some relationships.

Thank-you for sharing great words of wisdom with me that I still refer to and repeat to this very day.

Thank-you for reminding me not to judge how hard it is to be young, naive, and so full of hope.

Thank-you for the secret to your longevity.

Thank-you for preserving our story.

Thank-you for teaching me how to take good care of my home and family.

Thank-you for showing me how hard work and determination can result in a healthy, fit body.

Thank-you for providing me the opportunity to do the one job I have always wanted to do.

Thank-you for allowing me to think for myself and believe what my heart tells me.

Thank-you for breaking my lovelorn, teenage heart.

Thank-you for showing me the world and changing my life.

Thank-you for your sweet baby hugs and kisses.

Thank-you for sharing all your talent, creativity and passion with me.

Thank-you for being family for me “here” when they are all over “there.”

Thank-you for dreaming and scheming with me.

Thank-you for loving me even when it’s a hard thing to do.

Thank-you for letting me write for you, draw for you, scrapbook for you, paint for you, and create for you; it’s the reason I do it.

Thank-you for letting me be a part of your life.

You didn't get here on your own. You had help along the way. People of little and great consequence have led you to where you are today. Those who have shared your home and those you have shared your heart have all contributed to this very moment in time. When was the last time you said thank-you? When was the last time you truely acknowledged the impact they have made on your life? The joy, the memories, the example, the friendship, the sacrifice, the helping hand?

My challenge to you this month is so very simple - say thank-you. Tell those who need to hear your gratitude how you feel. Write ten OR write one meaningful letter, put it in the mail or send it via the world wide web...but send it anyway you can, and then post here once you have finished your task and share your thoughts. My thank-you for playing along? Why, another chance at an original piece of art by me! (Yikes for me! that's my own big challenge!) I will draw from those who reply and I will assume have honestly completed the challenge by 6pm on the 10th of August.

Dip your pen in the ink, put a stamp on good sentiments, and start a mini grattitude revolution today! Someone is getting mail soon!

Happy Hour: Long days, Short Seasons

2011-07-29T09:22:00.000-04:00

They are biting at my ankles all summer long. Bored because it’s too hot to go out and, yet, they’re not allowed to spend the whole day plugged in. Dragging their feet when I try to get them to go somewhere to have some fun with me, yet don’t hesitate to ask for my attention when they can’t think of anything fun to do or want a snack at 10:30 at night. Why are you up anyway?!

But the summer is passing faster than I can cross things off our list. School supplies are in the stores and I have even seen glimpses of Fall Décor and Christmas Crafts. Before we have even finished with one season, we’re already planning the next two! The house may get dirty twice as much with everyone home, but I’m not ready to give up summer just yet! I still want to savor the chaotic time I have in a house filled with viking boys. And what exactly makes it the best week of the best summer ever?

· quiet mornings

· super heroes

· refrigerator pickles

· cold water

· pastel, oil, and water painting!

· bees, birds and butterflies

· lots of great friends

· children biting at my ankles

So raise a glass with me and toast to summer! Pledge to make the most of these last few weeks before pulling out your Christmas tree and Jack-o-Lanterns. And tell me, what made this your best week ever?

Just a little pastel I did of Summer in Belgium for a friend!

Happy Hour: Bring on the Heat!

2011-07-22T09:26:00.002-04:00

Most of America is sweltering right now. Also, it’s hot outside. At moments like these I am so glad my life can exist in the sheltered bubble of my air-conditioned home. I think it’s humid enough to steam an egg out there and don’t even get me started on what steams me if I let it! But I haven’t checked the news in weeks and I’m not going outside today! I am content to celebrate Happy Hour indoors and my drink of choice today: water! Pour a tall one of your favorite, ice, lemon, straw, as I review what made this the best week ever!

· I have noticed that I’m right here, not in the past, not in the future, but in the moment. I’m sure it will pass, but it feels good to get here once in awhile!

· A week ago I returned from the most amazing trip to Washington State to see my family. (more to follow!)

· And after personal art lessons from both my Great Uncle Earl and my father I am inspired to create. (more to follow on that as well!)

· I have drastically reduced my internet usage and have discovered much needed extra time. Now I just have to use in appropriately!

· All my boys got short haircuts and I can see their wonderful faces.

· My dog is a sweetheart if she can tolerate fingers in her eyes and pulled hair and still not bite back…I will finally agree she is a keeper!

· I am growing a succulent garden in addition to my vegetables. I might need more space because I want chickens, goats and bees as well!

My list could go on. Life is good as long as I stick to the simple things like homemade meals, paper and paint, smiling faces and air-conditioning. What made this your best week ever!?

He Does it With Gusto!

2011-07-05T22:54:00.000-04:00

He shakes those drinks. One in each hand, like a master with intent on creation. Someone will enjoy a perfectly mixed drink in about two minutes. I wonder what he wishes he was doing with that much strength and perfection. No doubt, dinner and drinks were perfect tonight at the Seatown Snack Bar. Who would have thought oysters could be just the new thing I needed? I'll skip the tatoo for now and just suck up the fact that I am already doing something new. Something different.

The journey happens. You can't help uniting your fears and desires. You decide what the travel is about. Not exploration of a new environment, but rather the newness in you as you see something for the first time and feel something about life you weren't quite sure of before. Do we travel to check the box or to arrive home with memory of a new friend we've made with ourself? We want to see the world, but what it equates to when we no longer exist is only manifest in how we translate the experience to the next moment of our life. How we take the moment of awareness of the great big world and apply it to our relations of every day people.

Yes, I want to go places and see things and do what I wasn't sure I ever knew I wanted to do. But truely I want to discover where I have been hiding all along. In the sheets, among the dirty dishes, I was always an explorer. I was always on top of the world. And I was always at home in my heart.

Sweat and Tears

2011-07-03T11:31:00.000-04:00

SUNDAY CONFESSIONAL

I have something to say about my run today. I’m not going to bore you with the details of finding proper running shoes or how cheeseburgers do not make good fuel for lead thighs. But today I tackled the hill. I surprised myself. I’m doing it! I’m actually doing something good for my body and getting stronger as I go. I looked at the top of the hill and realized only a month ago I would have been sitting on my butt instead. And then I just kept going up that hill. I felt stronger. I felt inspired. I felt happy. I thought about my sister and her accomplishment of losing a lot of weight and becoming athletic. She was running, and it encouraged me to run. It felt good to be doing something for me, and even better as it dawned on me that I was doing this for my boys. For the people I love. And then I began sobbing.

Someone close to my family was diagnosed with lung cancer this week and my heart was breaking. I was angry and sad for obvious reasons. I could not help but cry out at the top of the hill, gasping for a breath; not because it was difficult to run, but because it was difficult to accept that the action of NOT running (eating well, drinking less, quitting smoking, wearing sunscreen, etc.) would certainly result in pain and suffering somewhere in the timeline of life. At the very moment I was finding strength do the right thing with this one fragile and resilient body I’ve been given, I was also fully aware of what happens when you choose not to do just that. Either right now, or later down that road of life, we all answer to the decisions we have made on how to handle the flesh and blood we inhabit.

What is your answer? How are you making that choice every day? Are you going to wait until it is too late? Today is the day. If you have time for television and Facebook and Xbox, then you have time to get up and make your heart pump that oxygen rich blood. You can put down the high fructose corn syrup drink and pour a glass of water instead. You can ask a doctor to help you quit smoking or find the right nutrition plan to lose weight. YOU CAN. It’s not easy, but taken in small steps anything can be accomplished, including the way you treat your body. I have a long way to go. I know I can make better choices even now. But I am taking the first step. Will you take the first step?

RESPECT YOUR BODY. RESPECT YOUR LIFE. RESPECT THIS ONE CHANCE TO DO IT RIGHT!

because I can only handle so much sweat and tears on my own, you have to do the rest....

Slice of Life

2011-07-01T16:04:00.002-04:00

This is Happy Hour Friday & Ten Before the Tenth!

Not every Friday is as happy as a Friday should be. Last Friday I wanted to post my Happy Hour summary of a good week, but I wasn’t feeling it. It was a pretty crappy day. Which is exactly why I should have put my “world is crashing in” attitude away and face the hard facts: Life is good, even when it’s not.

Let me rephrase that: Life is good, even when you think it’s not. The key is all in how you think. A lot has been written on happiness and how to find it. Jesus and Buddha and Plato and Mr. Rogers all had something to say. I’m still looking into all my options. But I do know one thing, when you focus on the positive it sure helps lighten your load. That is why I am working on a weekly post that celebrates both the joy that Friday’s release brings and the ability to look at all the little things that made the week at hand the best week I ever had…each and every week.

And because this is the first of the month, I am also soliciting participation in both my endeavor to write more on my blog and to push myself to create more original art. So, I am once again promoting my TEN BEFORE THE TENTH challenge. It’s Happy Hour, grab a drink and a pen and paper and chill with me for a minute! I am looking for ten things that made this YOUR best week ever. I know you love your family and you are thankful to have your home, church, job, health, etc. I am asking you to look past the obvious and find TEN specific things that happened or somehow affected you in a way that re-affirmed for you that life is good. Let me go first:

1. I ate a crisp cucumber from the garden I have growing in my front yard.

2. I discovered lino cut art, and the ability to make any image I design into a one of a kind stamp.

3. My youngest can’t properly say “hot lava.” Instead he says “hot mama.” Naturally I have been asking him to say it as often as possible!

4. I went running today and when I got to the end of three miles, I just wanted to keep going!

5. The sound of Legos is a beautiful sound. It means all the boys (dad included) are playing together for hours.

6. Dinner at the dining room table sitting across from my husband and next to my boys after a long day is my favorite place to eat after working hard to make a great meal.

7. My oldest at 12 (going on 20) still likes to give lots of hugs and kisses.

8. After finding “To Kill a Mocking Bird” by Harper Lee at the second hand store for .50 I realizing there is a reason it is one of America’s best novels. What a treasure.

9. Facebook connects me with my friends and family like I never thought it could and I have come to realize that without it, I would not know or be close to many of the wonderful people that I get to “chat” with everyday.

10. When I was having a bad day (again on Sunday) my dear middlest child passed by me trying to sing Bob Marley in his words, “Cuz’ everything’s gonna to be alright.” And it melted my heart because he was right.

Ok, your turn! Write them down. Put them where you can see them, post them to the world, share them with your family, but be honest with yourself! Then write at least one of those things here as a comment to this post. And there is an incentive, everyone who participates will get an original ink printing of my hand carved stamped image in the mail from me. YES, everyone! (just participate and then send me your address via email: mylifewithmonkeys@gmail.com with the word blog in the title.) You have until July 10,2011 at 7pm EST. So turn on some Bob Marley, pour something cold, and celebrate because this was the best week ever!

Happy Hour: Mint Lemonade

2011-06-17T08:46:00.002-04:00

One of my favorite places to lunch in our little local town of Mons, Belgium was a French café and Bakery called Le Pain Quotidian. It was the only place that served good strong coffee. All their meals were organic and prepared fresh to order! Their usual fair included open face sandwiches called tartines, fabulous salads with a homemade vinaigrette and a basket full of fresh baked breads. And I always finished with one of their desserts! Come to find out, this cute Boulangerie is an international establishment with shops in New York, Los Angeles, Washington D.C., The Middle East, and of course all over Europe. But it got its start in Brussels. Now I am sharing with you “Limonade du Maison.” I adored this refreshing twist on lemonade so much I had to try it at home and who knew it could just be so simple!

Squeeze the juice from about a dozen lemons and a few limes, add one cup sugar, and 3 quarts water in a big gallon jug. Add ice and a few slightly bruised stalks of mint. Mix and serve in your favorite glass. Mason jars make me happy right now! Here are a few other things that made this week the best week ever:

We had a spontaneous trip into DC for a visit with my brother-in-law, Sam. It was great to laugh and joke with him for an evening.
The kids are out of school for the summer! (but I’m still trying to decide if this is going to be a good thing!)
Mexican Food. Need I say more!?

Perfect weather all week followed by much needed rain.

A day off.

This boy:

These are just a few things that made my week the best week ever. What made this your best week ever?

Tuesday's Traveler: The Storm

2011-06-14T09:53:00.002-04:00

“It’s a shame I only made it to Paris four times…” I can’t believe those words came spilling out of my mouth. My good friend looked at me with “that” look and I shut it before I put my foot in any more. Right? Most people would kill to go even once, while I lived just over the border of France for nearly four years. It seemed common enough to me, yet I failed to tell the story. I may not be Elizabeth Gilbert, traveling solo through 3 countries in a year (at the publisher’s expense!) But I have had a “Pilgrim’s Heart” and have made a journey or two with a story to spare. So I say why not share? There’s always a discovery worth telling when one travels beyond the front gate….

In the South of France on the Mediterranean Sea there is a small town called Cassis…. seems like the logical place to begin would be Paris, but I’m not going to start with that story. I’m not even going to start with my move to Belgium. I’m going to tell you my high seas adventure. I wasn’t lost at sea, but there was a storm coming and it didn’t look good. I was traveling with my mom, the original “Pilgrim Heart,” to the center of where all good travel stories begin; Provence and the Cote D’Azur. We had a late start to the day and wanted to squeeze in time to see the Mediterranean before sunset. Specifically, we wanted to be out in the Mediterranean. Naturally we rented sea kayaks, signed no release forms, and were instructed with a typical “C’est La Vie” casual sunny, southern French attitude to be back before closing.

We began paddling into the blue. Into the waters that reached across the ocean to break on the beaches of Morocco and Spain and Tunis. We were in that sea; the one mentioned in history books and old movies, and now we were feeling part of something much bigger. Our eyes were set on a large cliff on the other side of the bay’s opening. We had plenty of time to reach our destination, enjoy the wonder of the moment and then make our way back to land before our time was up and the old boat owner was ready to close up shop. But we did not take into account that the heat and humidity was quickly turning into a raging thunderstorm; one that comes for a visit every summer afternoon. But when you are the visitor, the host looks daunting as you stare at it rolling over the foothills, into town, and assuming right out to sea; the very sea in which you were moments ago noting you were becoming one with.

Ah yes, my mother and I are risk takers, but not fools. Lightning and water don’t mix. And though we were given no formal warnings or wavers when we signed up to paddle our own boat, we were ready to haul it back to shore before the storm overtook us. At the time we thought we might have twenty minutes to make it back before the storm, but that meant some heavy rowing because it took more than twice that to get out to the point we were at. But we did just that. We paddled our little hearts all the way back to shore, breathless and exhilarated as we proudly hustled under the first big fat rain drops. Rushing past the topless women, finally pulling their things together as the rain splattered down around us all; laughing as we caught our breath and turned the corner to meet our robust and very bronzed shop owner. He shrugged and gave us that pouted lip, raised eyebrow French look and proclaimed, “But Madame, it is only a little rain. Why hurry so much?”

Why worry so much? Mom and I thought we had dodged a bullet, but it soon dawned on us that we were the only ones trying to get out of the storm. We made our way through the villa in the rivers of rain. Locals and tourist alike took shelter together and continued with their meals and shopping and long conversations. Gentlemen pulled out Champagne and a light supper and partook right there under the awning of their local business. Kids played in overflowing fountains. Life in Cassis did not stop for the rain. Life in Cassis just got started. And for us, the evening just got started, too, as we joined the crowds to eat and celebrate the moment. There is a good reason for the longevity associated with Mediterranean coastal living; every moment is tasted, savored, and enjoyed to the last drop even if the thunder is rolling in.

Photo credits: First found here: http://www.panoramio.com/photo/40303386 to help depict the storm. Other two were taken by Candice Wynne (my mom.)

Happy Hour, part 2

2011-06-10T20:04:00.000-04:00

Happily domesticated, irreverent, retro-feminist dreamer;
Rebellious artist, mothering redheaded vikings.

I wrote my TEN last year in a challenge to my sister. I know there are many other words that describe me, but I think I will stick with my original...
In the most diplomatic way I could think of, I did the draw the old fashioned way and wrote names on paper, tossed them in the air and let the littlest child pick one up to discover our winner. AND this month is my Aunt Kathleen! I'll be visiting her soon, so I guess she knows how it will arrive on her doorstep! ;) But I have to tell you that am so pleased to have some very enthusiastic responses, excited to participate and wanting to own a little bit of something that I created. So, the rest of my lovely friends who already left their TEN, try again next month because I'm not done yet!!

Friday Happy Hour

2011-06-10T11:31:00.000-04:00

What better way to greet Friday than to proclaim my love! Despite all my serious posts, this is a house full of laughter and closeness. I have so much to be grateful for that I feel the need to start a new “Happy Hour” trend and share all the goodness once a week. Please join me, with or without a drink!

· I had a margarita last night and laughed out loud. It felt good.

· My living room is almost complete and it feels so comfortable. Even David commented that he liked the neutral panel grommet top curtains picked out. I love happy places in my own home!

· I talked with my sister for a long time on Monday. It’s becoming a regular thing again and I realize that if we aren’t always in touch, then something is missing. It feels good to connect, even on opposite sides of the country.

· My body remembers how to run. I am so thankful that I have the physical strength to move and get out and go, despite all the aches and pains that want to creep up on me as I add the years on to the old machine. Just keep it moving along or it’s going quit on you!

· I got lots of hugs and kisses this week because I gave lots of hugs and kisses this week. Redheaded boys fill me up like nothing else in the world can do!

· Have you been to Etsy.com lately? It’s inspiring and I want to make things. I am making things. You will see…

These are just a few things that made my week the best week ever. What made this your best week ever?

{Important Note: Ten to the Tenth is over when Happy Hour is over tonight at 7pm EST. If you haven’t had a chance to post your ten words that describe you, then go back to this post and comment now before it’s too late! I will post my TEN at that time and draw a random participant to win an original piece of art by me! Yup, I’m putting it all on the line for you! Let’s do this thing!}

Sunday Confessional

2011-06-05T23:10:00.000-04:00

From my Facebook status on March 2011: “I have really bad days, weeks sometimes. I am unmotivated, I yell at my children, I say the F-word all. the. time. I get into fights with my husband, I have credit card debt - again, I let my kids watch too much TV and play violent video games, I obsess about getting cancer, I can't stop interrupting people, I pass judgment on the people I love the most, I spend time on the internet instead of being productive, I eat too much junk food, I say I'm going to paint, but I keep making excuses, and last week I almost ran away from home....but instead I made a joke about joining the circus. Do you really know who anyone is just by reading their posts!?”

It's Sunday Confession and I admit I am being far too open about it. I confess that I am too quick to proclaim my great ambitions, yet slow on the follow through. I confess that I am still intimidated by a blank canvass and scrapbooking is a comfortable place to be. I confess that I am still guilty of the internet time suck. I confess that I make inspirational moments sound so much easier when I write than I can actually pull off in my daily routine. I confess that at some point I will blog about the tedious day-to-day and what my kids are doing despite stating this was not the blog for that. I confess that I love knowing people are reading what I have to say because I like “putting on a show,” in words of course.

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." I believe that identifying who you really are also means looking at your flaws. Maybe it’s not necessary to leave my dirty laundry airing for the public to see, but it’s freeing in a way I can not describe. We are not perfect people. I hope that for a brief moment, someone out in the cyber world reads my words and sighs in relief knowing they are not alone in the pitfalls of this human life. For those who keep it bottled up and buried at the bottom of the sock drawer, I suggest you start by being honest with yourself about who you are and where you are in life. Then turn to the people that are closest to you and do the hardest thing; admit your faults. You won’t melt, and it truly does matter. Follow by letting it go, because there is no place for guilt. Change the action or change the belief.

So, there you have it: My Sunday Confessional. You don’t have to confess anything! But you only have five days until the tenth….so leave your list of ten on my last post before it’s too late! (Oh for heavens sake! If I can admit all that I have, it makes your part easy as pie!) One more thing before it’s too late – gratuitous pictures of the people that matter most to me:

"Can you lie next to her and confess your love, your love? As well as your folly and can you kneel before the king and say ‘I’m clean’" - Mumford and Sons, White Blank Page

Go Find Yourself!

2011-06-01T23:39:00.001-04:00

This is not the kind of blog that details my daily routine. The one that tells you what my kids have been up to lately. Not going to tell you the details of potty training or how the garden is growing. Or the new haircut or how far I jogged yesterday in sweat and tears. Typically, this is not that blog. Somehow from the beginning I have found myself on the track of trying to find the little truths in everyday life. It’s those moments of clarity; those bits of reality that are evidence I am still thinking for myself.

And tell me, please, if we are not all trying to sort through the daily muck to see if we are still in there thinking for ourselves! Strip down the titles and duties and shoulds and shouldn’ts….what do you have left of yourself? And how can you give back to the world and all the people you love, if you don’t really know? If you don’t have something left of yourself at the end of the day, how are you going to get up and do it all again tomorrow?

Maybe I hesitate to post my ideas sometimes because I’m not sure if I am saying the right thing at the right time to the right people, but I know deep down I have something to say or I wouldn’t have written a hundred blogs in my mind already. I have pondered very serious issues and delightful, if not crazy insights, I’ve thought of stories of my childhood and dreams of my future, and more creative ideas than I have time to do….all without writing a word! All without saying that I, too, am searching for my own personal integrity in the things I do, the words I say and the intentions I put into the world every day.

Because I believe our humanity is at stake, and because I need to refocus my creativity where it counts; I have a new plan for this blog! If you follow me you will begin to see regularly scheduled posts that will motivate me to reach out to you and hopefully motivate you to give something back as well. You could call it a give and take, interactive blog that might have everyone thinking outside the monkey box before long!

So, I start now with my first regularly scheduled blog post that I call TEN BEFORE THE TENTH. On the first of the month I will post a challenge and anyone who wishes to participate can post their reply in the comments column before the 10^th of the month. To help encourage people to play along and motivate me to create I will draw a comment at random and send an original piece of art (yes, by yours truly!) as a gift for participating. I know, that’s a big commitment from me but I guess I’m serious this time! Anyone can join in and I encourage you to spread the word around to get this thing moving along! OK!?

Here you go for June’s challenge:

Describe yourself in TEN words.

Come on, I DARE you to get real and get creative! Tell me who you are!

Yup, Just that simple, and I will post my answer for you on the tenth!

The Time Sucker

2011-05-10T17:26:00.000-04:00

Otherwise known as the internet. Facebook, Studio Calico, Etsy, Amazon, Pinterest, The Weather Channel. They have all been stealing away the extra minutes of my day. That is where the hours have gone that I could have been writing, painting, gardening, exercising, and in so many ways, just doing something productive. Heck, I could have mastered bread baking or quantum physics by now! The World Wide Web is a powerful tool when used right, but I can’t tell you how many times I have sat down to “just check one thing” and then two hours of my life is swept under the rug just like that. Poof! And I wish for more hours in the day, but really I just need to USE the time that has been given to me in the first place. Oh, sure I could blame my lack of creative accomplishment on raising three rowdy boys (and really I should), but the truth is that if I only took that extra hour in the day by the reigns I could be doing those few little things I dream of doing…

And honestly, I have no shortage of ideas. In fact it’s shameful that I have so many (good) ideas and they just go to waste like the bananas on my counter. It’s not too late to make bread, right? So I will tell you now, I have at least a half dozen blog entries begun. I have pages of notes for paintings, illustrations and assemblage art projects. I have the characters in stories all worked out. I know exactly how I could pull together family members in an amazing creative venture and come out on top. I have another couple of great new blogs I think about starting…… but I can’t maintain the one I have so what’s the point really…..

The point is that an acquaintance, someone I have only met a couple times really, told me she reads my blog and was wondering when I would be posting again. It was December the last time, after all. And she noticed I was painting and wondered how it was going. (Did I brag about jumping into art and writing about it, because it’s a shame really!) There you have it, people are reading what I write and asking me to say more. And I have A LOT more to say, I am never without a story or an opinion to share.

SO, is it really the internet surfing holding me back? Or is it a convenient excuse to waste away my valuable time and not get going on what I am probably too intimidated to be doing? It’s easy to doubt myself. Easy to doubt my commitment. Easy to doubt the value of what I do in a population of 7 billion people. Easy to be intimidated by those who have been professionally trained and know what they are talking about. Easy to feel overwhelmed by the daily tasks at hand so much so that adding one more thing to the fire might make it all melt into a heap. Easy to wonder at what point will I accept that the process of creating and sharing is success in itself?

I did a quick (one hour) pastel of a photo from a trip I took to Provence years ago. I did it on a whim because I knew I wasn't doing what I promised myself to do, and I felt better for it, and then worse because I know I should keep doing it until I really build the skills I want to create the paintings that I dream about doing.

I think it’s time to close out my internet browser and start my own creative revolution. What do you think, are you in with me? (posting a reply would be very helpful right about now!)

Christmas Magic

2010-12-17T16:17:00.002-05:00

Once upon a time, a long time ago….a little girl I once knew, easily believed in the magic of Christmas. She knew September meant school and October was for costumes, followed by November for a grand feast with relatives she rarely saw but loved quite dearly. Then some time later, in December, Christmas began to happen all around her. Lights went up on the block, the whole family piled in the big brown van in search of a fresh tree, perfect tissue art ornaments were made in school, and grand church events were attended. The magic of the season continued without effort at all! Favorite Christmas music was played in the home, caramel corn tempted little fingers, and even handmade cards complete with children’s handprints were finished and sent out on time! Best of all was Dad dressing as Santa and all of us secretly delivering gifts to a family in need. Oh how she loved this time of year more than anything. All that good Christmas spirit filled her with excitement and anticipation.

But then the years passed on and she grew up. She never grew tired of loving Christmas, but there is no doubt the sparkle began to fade. She got married and had children and her love and joy grew and grew. But quite at the same time, the magic she once knew was harder and harder to find.

Now don’t get me wrong, she anticipated the season with great gusto and big plans. She would say to herself in October (and sometimes July,) “It will all get done, I swear! The lights and the cookies and every last handmade gift! I will fill the stockings with just the right thing…you’ll see!” And then the great holiday kick-off feast (also known as Thanksgiving) would come and go and the reality would simply sink into the little girl-at-heart. For all the making and baking in the world would not recapture the magic as she once knew. It’s not that she didn’t try. She tried it different every year as a matter of fact! Some years too much, some years scaled back, some years giving and some just a bit reserved. But that simple magic, well, it was just a tad bit out of her reach.

But then one year (one quite recent in fact!) a light went on as she was trimming the tree. Harry for the Holidays and baked apple pie candle warmed up her home. Her beautiful, wonderful, happy new home and she looked and she saw three boys eyes lit up with the Magic of Christmas! “But of course!” she thought to herself and silently thanked her mom and dad for the years they put in to making Christmas seem effortless and allowing their little ones to feel the MAGIC without a to-do list worry or care in the world!

And THAT is the story of how I came to understand the reason why I look forward to this time of year so much and yet inevitably find myself overwhelmed anyway. I will always be searching for that simple Christmas magic and in the process, hopefully be creating it for the ones who matter to me most. Merry Christmas boys! (and thank-you so much Mom and Dad for the very best memories of Christmas!)

Christmas 2009

Both Feet First

2010-11-03T15:10:00.001-04:00

So, are you wondering if I've gotten to this artist thing yet or just pushed it to the side in lofty aspirations? Did I make any declarations I would sooner regret? Have I already jumped both feet first into something before I was really ready? Do I have what it takes? Do my children still need to be fed? The answer is YES (to all of the above)!

I am excited to venture back into this world of art and painting. Reality is staring me in the face and I am NOT backing down! I have a million ideas and not nearly enough time in this world! But I am taking a minute to share my thoughts on the situation as follows:

1. I love it, but it's scary and hard picking up the brush again.
2. Starting over is not as easy as riding a bike, this is going to take much longer to re-learn.

3. There is a reason why my art class is filled with retired women, not young mothers.

4. There are still mouths to be fed and clothes to be washed, and even if you think about art every day, the reality is that it is at the bottom of the to-do list.
5. I have no interest in giving up my day job anyway!
6. Slow and steady wins the race; I know I won't be a master by next year, maybe not until next lifetime...
7. If I wanted to relax I would still be scrapbooking!

I've been taking a pastel painting class for the last few weeks. I am practicing, but not nearly enough. I keep a journal full of the ideas that strike me, so maybe one day I will fulfill a few of those creative dreams on canvas. In the mean time I am nervously posting these two pictures I did last month. Both are pastels. The strawberries were fresh and set up in my studio and the landscape was from a photo of Belgium. I hope you are pleased with my update!

(no) Regrets

2010-10-20T14:36:00.003-04:00

I wish I could say that life in Europe was the best I ever had. That I lived it to the fullest and loved every minute. I wish I could say it was all I hoped it would be. But it's no secret that my time away was one of my greatest challenges. It's hard to disappoint the ones I love and say that I didn't make the most of my time; that I rather didn't care for it much at all. I know I sound ungrateful, but it's the honest truth: living in Belgium was not my finest hour. And if I had to do it all over again, well, I would.

Yeah, I know it's a hard one to swallow, but I know who I am today would not be without all I was yesterday. Right now I love life and feel more joy for the simple suburban lifestyle I live than I ever once did. Besides I saw Paris. And the Alps and the Mediterranean and drank Italian wine, lived in a Grand Chateau, made lasting friendships and had another wonderful redheaded viking boy. And who could deny those memories? But alas, I stray. All those things never compensated for the days I felt isolated and the times I worried about my children's health, the language and culture barrier or the challenge of winter with a husband deployed. I never got over being a stranger in a strange land.

The affect I had on my family IS my regret. My moods often, yet not always, set the tone for loving or loathing living in Belgium. But the need to bail out at high tide and come home, well, THAT I will never regret because I know the whole family has benefited from the great return. The biggest pay-off has been genuine happiness in our home and this sweet knowing that I am where I belong.

Significant Changes

2010-09-14T17:00:00.000-04:00

How does one who has been devoted to scrapbooking for years make a very hard decision to quit? I have taught classes, been a major supporter (both verbally and financially) to Studio Calico, I have a room dedicated to it and have even been published - more than once! I know! I have loved it dearly for nearly 12 years now. In all honesty, up until about two weeks ago, I hadn't really planned on giving it up so soon. But the idea had been rolling around in my mind for months, if not years. And one peaceful afternoon as I lay collecting my thoughts in the back yard while the kids jumped all around me I realized that as long as I had supplies arriving at my door step every month, there would never be a transition. That transition into painting that I have always seen myself do.... someday....but someday was never coming at the pace I've been taking to do it.

So, I am quitting scrapbooking.

Ok, not completely, totally, and immediately. I'm not running out the door, but rather backing out slowly. But here's the thing....As long as I spend my time scrapbooking like a maniac or reading the masses of scrapbooking news on the internet like an obsessed junkie, I will never be able to make the transition to other other side of me. I want to write, read, finish my art history degree, take as many hands-on fine art classes as possible and eventually sell my work in galleries. Yes, in galleries! Did you know my father is a successful artist selling in galleries in California? And long before I even had children it was something I imagined myself doing. Flash forward to life with husband and kids: now scrapbooking has taken place of my artistic needs for many years. And I DO love it or I wouldn't have put so much time and money into it! But...

Sometimes you know when the time has come to make significant changes. Those changes in the way you live your life that must be done in order to accomplish the dreams you've always had. Like going to bed early to wake a little sooner just to get a run in. Or selling your perfect little condo in the perfect little town so you can have the money to go back to school and get your Master's of Fine Art. Perhaps it may be moving away from all that has you tied down and in a rut. Or shifting away from a particular mindset or belief you thought you had to stick to your entire life, which limits you from accepting everyone or one one particular person for who they really are. Maybe you have to let go completely of the one you thought you loved in order to love yourself again. Or simply, you must get on that plane and fly...

Whatever it is that you have been meaning to do lately, maybe it's time to make a change. Make the sacrifice of one thing for the better of another. But however you do it, do it with gratitude in your heart because it's the only way to proceed at this turning point in your life.

At least that's where I stand today....

Hope you join me as I take the next step and document my journey, right here! Because part of the transition to the other side of me, is telling you how I get there: step-by-step, one brush stroke at a time, and writing little more often than I have been!

All American

2010-07-22T23:30:00.000-04:00

In all honesty it didn't take long to assimilate back into the good old American Lifestyle. I know Target as well as I know my own house. Which, by the way, is awesome! We "eased" the transition by staying in a hotel for three (long) months, but the wait was worth it. I guess it was only a few weeks ago that our household goods arrived and we began making this place ours. We've emptied most boxes, painted five rooms, hung curtains, a few pictures, and made good use of the kitchen. My studio is up and running, so is David's, and the boys each have designer bedrooms. We still have a pink basement to contend with and wallpaper to strip in the diningroom, a "bit" of decorating to do in the living room and some updating planned for the kitchen. My current project is painting and finishing up our library where we keep the big double chaise lounge chair that everyone deeply covets and more books than we will ever read.

It seems like Belgium was an eternity ago. I think of the friends I made and the house I lived in occasionally, but mostly I still feel relieved to be home. It feels right. Accepting suburbia has never been so easy. We bought a minivan, signed the boys up for soccer, make playdates, watch tv, and sometimes even shop after 6pm. With the traffic and the planes flying overhead, I know we are not alone. I'm sure one day I will be tempted to complain...eventually I always do, but for now I am enjoying fireworks going off in my backyard and the clerk at the store greeting me in English!

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow...

2010-02-04T08:36:00.000-05:00

I wish I could say that I have been good about keeping my life in Belgium updated and blogged. I wish I had told more stories. Waiting for inspiration to strike and the story to be told sometimes means no story at all. But in my heart I know this is not true. Everyday there is a story to tell; no trip to Paris or fancy French meal, or holiday to celebrate is necessary because it is in the small moments of life that we are really living.

Sure, we've traveled around Europe. Had big summer parties in our yard. Taken feild trips to see the Mona Lisa. Bought Dutch paintings at Flea Markets. Made several trips to local hospitals. Celebrated a Belgian Wedding until all hours of the night. Driven across the border of France just to buy cast iron cookware. Played "football" with kids of every nationality. Been carried up hundreds of steps to the Sacre Cour asleep in a stroller. Flown in an airplane, ridden on a train, cruised in a car, and even toured the city in a little boat. I can not forget that we have sprinkled our time in Europe with an adventure here and there.

But the best stories come from everyday life. I have raised my boys here and fallen in love all over again with my husband. We have learned how to be a family no matter where we are or what we are doing. Most days we are right here at home. Together. And the simple life we live is where we find the most joy. This is what I treasure most as we now say good-bye to life in Belgium and head home. This is what I hope to take home with us. There is no worldly adventure that can replace the relationships we build with our family and the best part of our time away is the bond we've built.

So, even though we didn't make it to Venice, London and Prague...we created the best story of all...a happy family. And now, it's time to go...

Thought You Should Know!

2009-11-23T18:06:00.003-05:00

Well, it was only a matter of time, right! I've been scrapbooking for over ten years and I am so happy to say that I will now be published in the April 2010 eddition of Scrapbook Trends Magazine! It's a really cool mini album about all my past sewing projects. I can't share with it with you just yeat, but after it's on the news stand I will post some photos here. In the mean time, how about I share a couple of my favorite recent pages! (oh, and Thanks everyone for your support!)

The Taste of Tangerines

2009-10-26T17:51:00.003-04:00

Today I peeled a tangerine and ate it as usual. But a wave of enjoyment rushed over me as I realized that this tangerine season I would not enjoy alone. This tangerine season I would not make lonely quesedilla dinners or tuck the kids in with a lonely goodnight kiss. It's funny how a little thing like knowing that last year when I bought the first crate of tangerines, David had already left for Afghanistan, but this year as I bite into that first juicy tangerine, it's just a little sweeter than before.

I had no idea six months could be so hard. I had no idea it would take so long to feel "normal" again. But I did know that the boys need their father. And everyday we build back the bonds and the strenghth of our family as a whole and it feels good. It's easy to take the little things for granted. We all do. But when I ate that tangerine and looked over at my husband standing there eating a tangerine,too...well, I was just glad to be doing it together this year!

My Final Paper

2009-09-30T16:35:00.002-04:00

I got an "A" on this final paper, and I got an "A" in the class. More significantly, I got to know myself a little better. This was written out of thin air in a computer lab at the education center. I did not have time to think. I did not need research. I was given the option between writing two very personal essays, and either one I chose I think I would have come out of the final paper knowing something I did not know before: I am still affected by my parents' divorce twenty years down the road.

I haven’t been camping since my childhood days. I am not a princess, I can handle the dirt. I wouldn’t mind pitching a tent and building a fire, or hiking to the top of the waterfall. I love the smell of the campfire. And it is always nice to get away from the everyday life and get closer to the fresh air and television-free, natural life for a moment or two. But I don’t go, I don’t even make the effort to go. It was only in recent conversation with my sister that I finally came to the conclusion as to why this aversion has come to pass. My happy memories of family vacations to the Great Redwood Forests of California have been polluted with the divorce of my parents in my teenage years.
From my earliest memory I can see myself standing like the tiniest ant next to one of the world’s tallest living things. The great Sequoias of the Sierra Nevada are like nothing else on earth. A vehicle can pass through a carved tunnel, or drive on top of a fallen tree, with room to spare! As small children, my siblings and I would run rings around the base of the tree until we were out of breath, never once catching up to the other side. I couldn’t resist rubbing my palms over the furry, outer layer in amazement that the tree had existed for hundreds and hundreds of years. We were lucky enough to travel to the National park several times a year, always camping, always excited to explore what nature had to offer.
I remember one time the whole brood of us, five kids in all, went for a hike through the forest with our parents leading the way. We came to a meadow where the giant trees had fallen and made homes for all kinds of animals to live. We climbed on top and for dozens of meters we crossed the marshy meadow on the fallen foot bridge to the end where the branches shot out into the sky. We saw deer and rabbits, but my favorite were the littlest tree frogs I had ever seen, no bigger than a teaspoon. We spent the next hour catching and releasing the frogs, hoping to cause no harm.
There were times when I didn’t enjoy myself as much. Some nights were cold and I know I must have been sleeping on rocks. Occasionally our camping neighbors stayed up too late being rowdy and playing loud music. I couldn’t wait for the morning to come, to release me from the long night of waking and drifting. But an early morning campfire to warm us up and hot cocoa never failed to get a bunch of kids running and playing and generally giving back to our neighbors a taste of what we got the night before.
Once we were a little older, I had the permission to wander the campground with my sister on our bikes. A little freedom in a time of perceived safety did wonders to young girls’ confidence. We never came across any real danger, and in the world we live in this was a miracle. It did happen that we got careless in our bike safety, and chose not to use helmets while riding tandem on a one-seater down a big hill. Ouch! No concussions, but scrapes deep enough to keep my father at bay while my mother played nurse to clean out the wounds.
By far my favorite memory of camping was Beatle Rock. Even before the siblings became numerous, and my sister and I were barely old enough to go to far from our parents, we would wander about on the great rocky mountainside that overlooked the valley below. It wasn’t impossible to catch sight of a bear or an eagle from this magical place, and I even knew as a small child that the sunset was unbelievable. I had moments of fear that we could fall off the edge of the great rock that held us up so high, but my parents were both there to lead us and reassure of us against any danger that could pass our way. They were our protectors.
As the marriage dissolved, the illusion of safety and guidance dissolved as well. My parents became separate individuals trying to make an impact in our lives, and often times contradicted one another. Their influence didn’t hold the same power as it once did when they were one parental unit. I left out into the wide world soon after the split and forged my own way in life, not really mourning the loss of my parents’ marriage or my childhood, but not looking back either. Now I have become one half of the parental unit, “the great protectors” to my children and I am finding that I am finally taking a greater look at my childhood days. My happiest memory will always be long summer days camping in the Redwoods with my family, even if the thought also brings out the hidden sadness I feel of the dissolution of our family as a whole unit. The solution I feel, may be, that it’s time to go camping again.

Scrapbooking Isn't Everything...

2009-09-18T17:21:00.006-04:00

But it's almost everything! After all the other things that make me who I am - husband, kids, the to-do list, keeping in touch with loved ones, keeping on top of the bills, keeping up with the speed of life, well, then there is only one thing...scrapbooking! I know just about everyone who knows me, knows that this is my hobby, passion, obsession! I love the smell of the paper, I love the ink on my fingers, I love looking at other talented artists online, I love telling a story and putting our life on paper in the best way I know how. Scrapbooking is art and I must be satisfied by doing it everyday! I don't read much anymore (mostly because I'll fall asleep if I slow down for half a second) and I don't watch TV except for the occasional movie rental, and I don't stress about a perfectly clean house, and it's obvious I haven't been as good at updating my blog as usual!

So, why haven't I posted my scrapbook pages you might ask? Well, I had another blog for that, but I am in the process of consolidating. Another thing you should know...I'm teaching classes at my house. Not a consultant, don't have an agenda, not selling, and not really for profit...just want to inspire more people to document their lives in a really fun way. Last year was so much fun and now I'm starting a new season at the end of this month with a summer themed class using the cutest paper from Cosmo Cricket!

You know you can ask me...if you want to know know more about the class, where to get supplies, why I spend all my time and money on this one thing! OR if you want to ask about Europe, the boys, my crazy thoughts that I keep posting in short story format, what it's like to be married to a viking, what I had for dinner last night - you know anything - just e-mail me! mylifewithmonkeys@hotmail.com I'm not hard to reach! So, here we go...I will continue to post my short essays on life, art and travel AND I will post my scrappy stuff here, too. I sure hope you all enjoy!

Laundry Day

2009-09-18T17:16:00.001-04:00

It seems simple really. A task everyone must undertake. Laundry. I have become inundated and therefore have no choice but to become an expert. This task begins with a search and rescue. It’s wise to start with the various collection sites in the bedrooms and bathrooms, but attention must turn to the smaller less obvious hiding places: at the foot of the bed, under the couch, in the car, on the dining room table, behind the couch, etc. After the offending articles have been recovered and deposited on the laundry room floor, it’s time for sorting into appropriate piles. I prefer to separate the clothes as follows: white whites for a hot load, reds and oranges together to keep the colors true and avoid the infamous pink socks scenario, darks, lights, and linens. I also choose to wash anything associated with the dog or wiping up messes separate from all other items. Then load by load I make progress through the cleaning cycles; cup of detergent, turn the water on, fill up basin with clothes, top off with fabric softener ball, close lid, and try to remember in thirty minutes to switch the wet clothes over to the dryer. It usually takes at least two cycles of drying to finish off one load and I like to fold the clean, crisp laundry right out of the hot dryer and into the basket. This is where I feel the need to tell you that I often forget my laundry duties and the wet articles will go untouched for hours before I manage to finish one load. But eventually I have baskets brimming and spilling with all the clean, folded and evenly divided clothes, ready to be tucked neatly into drawers or closets. The baskets sit in my path begging to be put away, and after a long week of endless washing, I get to the final task of finding a home for every last shirt and underpant. I very easily could have completed ten loads on any given week, but this is not all. No, this is not all. The final step is what I kindly refer to as the Sisyphus Syndrome, because like the Greek God that was required to push a boulder to the top of a mountain only to find it at the bottom and starting all over again, I must go back to the very beginning of my laundry task only moments after having seemingly finished.

2009-08-05T02:51:00.001-04:00

I see colors in Van Gogh hues. The world around me beckons to be captured and pinned down as a shape or a texture or a word that I might later refer to as a memory or a reflection of my soul. I see art in everyday life. I transfer this creative energy to every motion, moment or memento that passes me. I file images in my mind like an intense conversion in a Caravaggio painting or a simple flirting with happiness like Renoir would depict. Is every little lily pond just a Monet in disguise? Or a urinal simply Duchamp reminding me that anything could be art, but probably (most definitely) is not! If I could translate my children’s laughter into a masterpiece I would have nothing left to say, but such a thing is impossible to capture as a tangible object. So, I create because the world I see refuses to be tied to physical boundaries. I am an artist and before I rest my head at night, I have created a hundred works of art in the recess of my mind.

Country Girl, City Girl

2009-07-27T13:16:00.004-04:00

When my husband came home and announced that we could move home in forty-five days, my heart sank and I felt a bit sick. It was not the reaction he was expecting. Maybe I wasn’t even aware of how I felt until faced with the moment of decision. After all, I’ve done nothing but complain for the last three years about the difficulties of life in a foreign land. I missed Starbucks and Target. I wished for street signs that made sense to me. The language has been daunting, and service is s-l-o-w. And I’d rather not eat another croissant. But as it turns out, I am finally accepting my life in Belgium and I’m not ready to go topsy-turvy and run back to America just yet.
We were enjoying our Independence Day cook-out in our yard with friends and a few out-of-town visitors, when I sat back and took a good look at what we have and how our family has developed since moving here. It seems that at the very moment the rest of the world is in shambles, we have never had it better. We gathered at the table to feast on food we had prepared together, laughing and talking until the last twinkling of sun went out of sight. It was well past eleven and I was satiated. This was the simple life that I wasn’t even aware existed. Years earlier you would have probably found us eating dinner in front of the television or rushing in and out of a chain restaurant. Going out is not as convenient in a small European city and it didn’t take us long before realizing that doing it at home was not only easier and more economical, but increasingly more enjoyable.
This “can do” attitude has perseverated into most of our daily activities. The morning begins with a fresh brewed pot of coffee, made from beans ground at home, and poured into a moderate size mug. Stopping in for a latte and doughnuts on the way to work is not just a luxury we’ve chosen to pass on, but it’s simply not an option. At night we gather together as a family for a home cooked meal and talk about our day. Nowhere in the middle does Oprah or Sponge Bob play mindlessly in the background on cable TV like it once did. We reserve our big screen for family movie night and an occasional Rock Band jam session. Don’t get me wrong, we are an electronic junkie family like most others, but there is little need to be plugged in to the outside world for constant input. And it feels good to use the dining table for dinner rather than a collection point for all our miscellaneous acquisitions.
Recently, I have watched creativity blossom. When the mind is not constantly kept distracted by the need to run and go, or see and do, then suddenly it must find new ways to be entertained. I have inky fingers from daily interaction with paper and paint, David is currently constructing a massive game table, Gavin has drawn entire scenes about stories he knows and Taylor made a Lego city without instructions. I feel like every moment is an opportunity to put our Da Vinci side of the brain to work, instead of using a trip to Best Buy to derail our imagination. And I find that this creative ingenuity works in time of need, or rather want, not just boredom. We’ve gotten good at going without certain wants, and making do with the perfectly good stuff we already have. When want creates action, we find ourselves reusing, repurposing and revamping items we already had in totally new ways. I don’t think the economists would be happy to hear me say this, but I don’t think we need the newest line of towels and dishes at Pottery Barn.
Not every moment of European life has been perfect. If you visit us in the winter, then you know how damp and dark Belgium can be. Likewise, that “can-do” attitude could be applied to getting our toilet fixed as well and in the moments when we’ve waited weeks for repairs, we can’t help but long for the American way of efficiency. There has been a time or two when I wished something was written in plain English, but usually the moment has been fleeting and I try harder to learn a new language. And when I’m down and out, I think a bookstore or an afternoon matinee would hit the spot. Instead I spend some time in my studio and it’s not long before I’ve forgotten it was ever routine therapy before.
It’s the thought of going back to the masses of traffic as far as the eye can see that keeps me grounded in the desire to stay just a little longer. I know where our home is and we are bound to return, but hopefully having learned a lesson or two in moderation. The uncomplicated life that is right now may be just enough to guide us down future roads with less strife and a greater appreciation of enjoying the moment. But in the mean time, this wine and cheese, garden forts and hide-outs, breezy summer afternoon kind of living is exactly the “joie de vie” our family was destined (needed?) to experience.

Play

2009-07-19T03:42:00.003-04:00

I wanted to preface this entry with the fact that I have been writing blog posts, But for some reason I just haven't been ready to post my life and thoughts. Well, I am out of hibernation and I'm sharing now! This first entry I give to you was written in May, right after David came home from Afghanistan. And you can find more entries in the days to come, so come back for more....

Play is the word of the day. Have I forgotten? Did I get lost in the difficulties of deployment? Did I forget to be kind and have fun with my children? To enjoy the moment and adopt a lighter load? Did I lose sight of the ultimate goal? HAPPINESS? Somehow in my survival mode I have not made the best out of the last few months of my life and it shows in every way. I thought I knew what to do to make a success out of hard times, but coming out of the other side I realize that thinking I know anything is the first mistake. Not asking for help was the second. I’m not as strong as I thought I was, but probably stronger than I give myself credit for. Now that it over, though, I need to take the next step and heal my family, myself. It’s time to be playful, fun, positive, and mostly KIND. It’s time to create the environment that we can all thrive.

Replace fear with hope.
Change anxiety into action.
Turn the negative energy into positive FUN.
Let go of the tension and Play Again!

LudiChristmas!

2009-01-08T05:56:00.011-05:00

Alright, trying to get back in the swing of things after what seemed to be a very long December. I want to explain my title. I've been watching the show 30 Rock and saw the Christmas episode from last season where they had a LudiChristmas Party. Then the aha light went on and I realized that's ludicrous and Christmas put together. (duh!) And boy am I going with it. Every year the things we put ourselves through to make a spectacular presentation for our friends, family and children. And every year I swear I'm going to scale back, but somehow it still seems to be all consuming. Now, I don't want you to think of me as a grinch or a scrooge. I participate in the season's various activities, and I go out of my way to make sure the kids are delighted on Christmas morning, and I love to think of everyone who is important to me and how I can honor them with a gift or baked good or card at this time of year; but I can't help but ask every year when it's over - was it worth it?

Let me be honest for a moment here, the truth is I am not a Christian. I have a couple nativity scenes for the sake of it, but if you pressed me I'd have to say I do not believe in the virgin birth. (gasp) And in doing a little research, it seems the idea of Christmas started long before the arrival of Christ when the Pagans celebrated the sun and the beginning of the days lengthening again - hence brightest star, lights, trees and gifts. You don't have to agree with me, but even the Catholic church concedes that the 25th of December was not Christ's actual birthday, but rather a really good day to celebrate in order to convert all the Pagans of olden days. Brilliant if you ask me, but I'm not a Pagan either even if it does strike me as a fun alternative. I have some Jewish ancestors, but do not participate in Hanukkah, definitely no Kwanzaa, Ramadan also a no, and well, New Year celebrations are way past my bedtime.

And another thing about the whole Christmas season while I'm deep in the subject. It's wasteful. Don't let the economist hear me say this, but we spend so much of our resources on things we don't want, can't use, will forget about later, that end up in our landfills, are toxic to our bodies and the earth, won't get played with, take up more space, and rarely benefit our character. But every year we go in for another round on the credit cards, wrap it up, pay the postage, ship it off, have it delivered, put it under the tree, and pray someone will be thrilled for at least two hours on Christmas morning. I asked my sweet middlest child, Gavin, why he wanted Santa to bring him toys if he wasn't going to play with them, and I kid you not, his reply was,"because it's just fun to have things to open on Christmas day!" Out of the mouth of babes; it sums up my whole theory on our over-the-top, commercialized, frenzied holidays that I kill myself over every year for what seems to be just a moment of excitement.

So, why do I celebrate at all, you might ask? Tradition? My American Capitalism? Responsibility? I've thought about this one a lot over the last couple years. I've finally come to the conclusion that I am doing it to celebrate my love for my family and for the people I care about all year long but may not have found enough time to show them how I really feel. Non-the-less, when all the stuff is put back in boxes, and space is made in the house for new stuff, and the bills are paid off, and it's all said and done, I am exhausted.

I propose a new plan to you today to celebrate in true spirit of the season through the whole year and right up until next December: Let us serve others instead of ourselves. I would like to do a family service project as a gift to my children and my extended family. I can't bare the thought of one more year of the gimmies. So, though I will still send photos and well wishes, I will be thinking of you through the whole year as I work towards doing a little something for someone else. Please do not feel pressure to participate in this if it does not suit you, but also be kind to yourself and resist sending gifts. Santa will still come to the Conrad house (as long as my boys don't end up on the naughty list!), and we will know you love us even without a package to unwrap - I promise.

What is Your Status?

2008-12-16T04:10:00.004-05:00

Often as I work my way through the day, I think to myself - What is your status now? Kellee is...folding laundry, wiping noses, picking up a dozen dirty socks, feeling overwhelmed, feeling overjoyed, snuggling her boys, getting a moments peace, etc. We are all in a constant status update, even if you have never been on Facebook! This is a good thing for me because I am infinitely aware of RIGHT NOW. Being in the present is the best place to be and when you are aware of this very moment you can live it, enjoy it, experience it all the better.

Last night Finn would not go to sleep and my arms still hurt from holding him for three hours! I mentally folded up my to do list and put it away; I was with him. At that moment, that was what I was doing. Nothing else. So even though we were all very tired, I was just so happy that he is part of my life. The same goes for little boys' dirty socks: I get to pick those up because I have boys! And I couldn't imagine my life with out them.

Try it for yourself, be in the moment because that is where you ARE. You know yesterday already happened, and all those things you have to do tomorrow will still be there. But stop for a minute and see if you can enjoy this time before it passes all to quickly. What is your status?

And just for fun I am going to share with you my facebook status for the last month:

Dec 15
Kellee realizes at the rate I'm going, I'm probably sending out Valentines gifts instead of Christmas gifts.9:56pm

Kellee found out that putting the baby to bed 3 hours later does NOT mean he will sleep in for 3 more hours! Hello 6am as usual!6:57am

Dec 14
Kellee is still working on being ready for tomorrow's class. 9:20pm

Kellee is up to her ears in eco friendly Christmas crafts!8:46am

Dec 13
Kellee is happy her mother is happy. She deserves to be!8:40am

Dec 11
Kellee is trying to stay positive, but is really just disappointed. 9:49pm

Dec 10
Kellee is reluctantly doing paperwork. (but not very well because here I am on the computer again!) 9:47am

Dec 8
Kellee is not patiently waiting until Christmas to open her presents. 9:39pm

Dec 7
Kellee just went to a church for the first time in 7 years and the holy water didn't boil! (but don't expect me back anytime soon!) 2:39pm

Dec 6
Kellee is up much later than she should be. 11:17pm

Dec 4
Kellee has been a mother for ten years now. The BEST thing that ever happened! Happy Birthday Taylor! 7:20am

Dec 3
Kellee :Bright sunlight on a clear day is the best example of hard light, which travels directly from the source to the subject. 1:49pm

Dec 2
Kellee is looking at the pile of Christmas decorations sitting next to the pile of unassembled Ikea furniture sitting next to the pile of laundry.... 9:15pm

Dec 1
Kellee is having a hard time getting motivated. 9:18pm

Nov 29
Kellee hopes you can find generosity and gratitude this holiday season. Change begins with you. 10:54pm

Nov 28
Kellee is laughing at all these photos of me in high school showing up on facebook! 6:51pm

Nov 27
Kellee is at least 3lbs. heavier tonight. 10:34pm

Kellee is making her family the whole shabang for Thanksgiving! 10:31am

Nov 26
Kellee has started her own business without even realizing it! Check it out! marmalademonkeysinc.blogspot.com. 11:25am

Nov 25
Kellee is thinking about life. 9:53pm

Nov 24
Kellee is watching a girly movie with her brother - who requested to watch it! ;). 10:12pm

Nov 23
Kellee does not have to accept EVERY friend request on Facebook. I don't remember most of these people! 9:37am

Nov 22
Kellee is surprised to be waking up to snow!!! Thank-you East Coast Friends for sending it my way! 7:53am

Nov 21
Kellee had the best time teaching scrapbooking classes this week, can't wait for next months classes. You won't be disappointed! ;). 7:37pm

Nov 20
Kellee thinks Santa's middle name must be Amazon. (Now who wants to go to the post and pick it up for me, pleeeeease?!) 11:54am

Nov 19
Kellee is sooo tired. My boys have never been given the gift of good sleepers. 9:38am

Nov 18
Kellee is sure there is something more important to do today than be on the computer. 8:31am

Nov 17
Kellee is done with laundry, oh, wait a minute, there it is, never mind. 8:59am

The Darkness of Winter

2008-11-25T16:06:00.006-05:00

I realize with much trepidation that I am beginning to resent the Winter months. I ask myself why I have struggled with living here, and though many things come to mind, and many things I have learned to overcome, the one thing I just can’t shake is the darkness of Winter. And, oh, how it looms over us as I write! The sun sets earlier and it rises even later, and the grey clouds hang close over our heads, wanting to tear open and dump gallons- excuse me- liters on us as we try to manage our daily lives. So, we put up Christmas trees, light warm apple cake candles, sing holiday songs, cuddle up for movie night, make gifts for friends, talk on the phone more, leave messages on facebook all too often; and if all goes according to plan, we come out alright on the other side of winter.

Such a struggle indeed. And I know my dear friends and acquaintances on this side of the pond are having a rough time of it as well. So, how do we solve this impending dark pit of the winter months? I’ll paraphrase for you a little something I read from Eckhart Tolle: “It is not the situation in life that causes our unhappiness, but rather the way we think about it.” I know there are many things we need to do in order to stay motivated, sane and happy through these next few months: exercise, eat right, share with your spouse and/or partner, get some sleep if your kids will allow it, write it down, make a friend, do something kind, connect spiritually, keep active…The list goes on. Implement your own plan of action and follow! But I think the number one thing to keep happy in hard times is the power of your own thought.

It’s not an easy task keeping up with my mind, but I know I am making progress. I wanted to say, “Ugh, snow, cold, shoveling…” Instead I said, “ The peace of the white covered earth will only last but a moment, I will enjoy winter’s little celebration!” I thankfully had no where to be this weekend, so for two whole days I watched the best snowfall we’ve had here yet, all from the warmth of my home. And I even let the boys go out and get wet and cold…and they loved every minute of it!

Perfectly Perfect

2008-11-12T15:35:00.004-05:00

When my third son was born in early spring of this year, he arrived not quite properly put together. He was born with a dilated left kidney. It really shouldn't have been a surprise, but the Ob minimized the situation during my pregnancy. At the last minute I found my self expecting a baby with a condition that did not "go away before he was born". I had so many questions, and so few answers; my hospital was located in a small Belgian town where even the "translator" only spoke French! What do we call this thing? What tests will be done? Can he urinate properly? Will he need surgery right as he's born? And still no answers came. What a lesson in patience!

Eventually we had a few tests done, some more invasive than others. We saw a specialist in Brussels and we saw a specialist at John's Hopkins in the U.S. We did a little research. We got frustrated by the language barrier in Belgium, and frustrated at the cost and speed in which things are done in the U.S. We waited for the possibility of an infection to occur. We wondered oh so many things about what was happening. Finley is now eight months old. Today we went back to the specialist in Brussels and he said "I am happy today about the progress of the kidney". A positive outlook! There has been a significant change from when he was born, in fact it is looking more normal every time we go in for a check-up. This summer, the specialist from John's Hopkins was ready to slice him open! But alas here he is now, a picture of health. I wonder if we hadn't have taken a look on the inside with these handy dandy ultrasounds, would we have ever known?!

So, I say Finley is perfectly perfect! And I'll tell you why: Two days after he was born I was holding him tight and overwhelmed with emotion. I was so grateful to have another beautiful redhead boy, but not certain what significance these health issues meant. I called my Dad to confess that everything wasn't ok as I led him to believe, that in fact Finley was born with a health problem. I could hear his sigh; he deflated. This is his grand baby! But he has never been one to dwell on the negative. So when I said to him it's just hard because I wanted Finley to be born perfect, he stopped me then and told me "But, he IS perfect." And there it was sinking into my soul, what do I know? But, of course! And I have believed it ever since. The course is till undetermined with this little one's kidney - and surgery is not ruled out yet. But for now. I just know that no matter what happens he came to us just as he was meant to come. Perfect!

When You Just Can't Stop Laughing

2008-10-29T17:00:00.007-04:00

Because you might just keep crying! My dear children, various other family members, and possibly a few strangers, all think I've lost it. I was visiting the very charming and not all that inappropriate city of Amsterdam last week with my children, my brother-in-law and his new bride. I was honored to host them on their honeymoon to Europe and decided to take one day to travel with them. I love to travel so it was a good opportunity for me because I had help with my monkeys; seeing as how I am completely out numbered now.

Amsterdam is only a three hour car or train ride away from my home, here in little ol' Belgium. We opted for the train because city driving is not my thing. And I reserved us two rooms in a little hotel in the quiet canal district. One bag packed. No, really, only one bag. Camera and batteries. Children's blankies. Snacks. All set. Except for the dog! Which I somehow forgot I had until the day before we were leaving. Really? Quick save - a call to the vet for updated shots, a frantic rush to the military base kennel and I was just lucky enough to wrap up that problem in time for our early ride the next morning. To Amsterdam, a beautiful city just hours from us that somehow I've managed to miss until now.

And yet still I feel like I've missed the whole thing. You see the thing is, with Daddy gone the boys just don't seem to want to behave like themselves. And though I had help, and the weather was good, and I promised spoils of goodness to those who behave, and I gave lectures on gratitude, and punishments were handed out, and ALL that needed to be in place for little boys to behave was certainly thought of and put forth in great effort...Yet somehow we found little success with good behavior for the majority of our trip to the beautiful city of Amsterdam; so close and yet so very far from our home.

So, there I was laughing so hard I was crying in the middle of lunch at a very "local" pub. Finley in my lap, restless and not allowing me a lunch break; Taylor glumly coming along for the ride and being the ultimate "parent" to his brother; and dear Gavin, who could not remember to remember anything, and who was also playing in (yes IN) his soda! And here I am laughing as I write this right now, remembering how ridiculous I felt that I couldn't inspire my own children to just be good. So, I just burst out in a fit of laughter, with tears running down my cheeks. And the harder I laughed, the harder I laughed. Vicious cycle. And wouldn't you know, it all seemed to work out ok after that. As long as I put it in perspective; Beautiful, charming oh-so-close Amsterdam will be there another day, but I only have this moment with my little boys once. And the little moments are what count...