Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Taylor was complaining that he wasted 15 minutes on something unnecessary yesterday and then proceeded to waste the next half hour upset about it!? It was one of those moments when I realized that life is way to short to spend our time worrying and complaining.
Download the song “Make it Mine” by Jason Mraz. (Hell, download all his music, it’s all great.) Listen to it and maybe you will see where I get my new mantra. How am I getting by here in Belgium, with David deployed, away from family member’s who need me, with a baby who has a kidney defect, a cat that puts holes in my curtains, boys who won’t remember to turn the lights out, packages that won’t come, shoulder’s and wrists that ache all day, lawn un-mowed, ideas for art never coming to fruition, friends that come and go, “time wasted”? YET opportunity is right around the corner, so I will “make it mine.” I will own it. Because I choose this life: I married a military man so I must move and adjust and make new friends, but I am thankful he can support us well with his job in a time of global economic crisis. I choose this damn big house, and to get two animals, so I will clean it and be thankful that I have the space for my children to skate up and down the halls. I have a house full of monkeys, and I am grateful for every moment. Every moment that passes faster than I can hold on to. So, if I don’t get to the art studio, or read a book, or ever have another pedicure; I’ve at least been there for that moment in time.
About my complaining. I’ve written a bit since last spring, but a lot has changed. Though my daily struggles are a continual effort to overcome, I have also come to peace with my life right here and now. Everyday has been a challenge with David's departure, and every single morning I wake and face the day with the knowledge that it can all go right and I will try again....Because I refuse to look back on any moment of this great life I live and have a bad memory. Because I will not ruin these precious moments raising my three boys with a bad attitude. Because I will NOT unlearn every lesson I have learned. Because I will not let opportunity pass me by. Because I choose my destiny. Because "Everything is fine, not final." Because I want to be at peace, so I will be at peace. And that is why I am sorry for ever having complained in the first place, though I know it is human nature, I believe my life is better now without it. And I hope to pass this on to you, in love, not war. I hope you are not sad, worried or angry today; that instead you find your bliss. And wake up tomorrow and find it again!
Friday, October 3, 2008
I miss him already. I miss him most when I see my boys missing him. I miss him more now than before. I miss him because we have built a great life together with our children and have had so much fun in the last couple years just being together. But I am infinitely proud of him; heading up this team and going down to a part of this world that needs resolution. And I will be at peace within myself knowing that if his work saves just one life, then the months of being apart is sacrifice enough. So I say see you later, not goodbye, because this is just a little thing in the grand master plan of life...